Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Little Blue Dress

When Cupid strikes a second time, you can wear any color you want

“Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.”—Epictetus

Author’s note: This week is National Suicide Prevention Week, a time to focus our efforts on preventing the tragic deaths of more than 800,000 people around the world who die each year by suicide. Many of them have mental illness and lack effective treatments. This week, I am in New York City with my second husband (we married in June) to promote my book on children’s mental health, The Price of Silence: A Mom’s Perspective onMental Illness, from Hudson Street Press.

Once upon a time, I wrote a blog about thrift store wedding dresses and second chances. It became a book called Little White Dress: Women Explore the Myth and Meaning ofWedding Dresses. This book earned me, my 25 co-authors, and Mill Park Publishing a 2012 Bronze Ippy Award in Women’s Issues from the Independent Publishers Association of America. This post is a follow-up to that original post. It is also an expression of immense gratitude for the life I have today, and for the man who chose to share it with me and my children.

A few years ago, anticipating what would have been my sixteenth wedding anniversary were it not for my divorce, I wrote a nostalgic post about thrift store wedding dresses and second chances. My essay sparked a steady stream of wedding dress stories—some bitter, some sweet, some funny, some achingly sad, all revealing various aspects of a woman’s life and experiences with love. I was so touched by these stories that I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if we could collect them in a book?”

So I called Elaine Ambrose, Midlife Cabernet blogger, owner of Mill Park Publishing, and a woman whom I think deserves the title of “Erma Bombeck Part II: The Sassier Sequel.”

“What if we do a book about wedding dresses?” I said.

“Sounds great!” she replied.


“And what if we put the book together in one day?” I was pressing my luck here—I knew it. But I had this vision, born of too many writing workshops where I left feeling unfulfilled and empty-handed, of creating a physical book in one sitting as tangible proof of my friends’ formidable writing talents

Any other publisher would have said, “Hell, no! There’s no way you can put a book together in one day.” 

But not Elaine. She didn’t even blink. “Sure,” she replied. “Let’s do it. I’ll supply the wine.”

And so Little White Dress: Women Explore the Myth and Meaning of Wedding Dresses, was compiled on August 8, 2011, three years after my divorce. It took a few more weeks to edit, lay the book out, and print physical copies. But start to finish, we completed the entire project in just a few weeks. Elaine hosted a swanky country club “book reception,” with proceeds benefiting Dress for Success, and I wore my original white wedding dress, a bit snug after four kids, but I could still zip it up if I only took shallow breaths.

I still remember when Elaine called to tell me the book had won a bronze 2012 Ippy Award in Women’s Issues. I was in the grocery store, looking for ketchup. “Do I still have to bag my own groceries?” I asked, so giddy with excitement that I announced the news to everyone on my aisle. I did still have to bag my own groceries. And I still do. But the medal looks really cool hanging on my office wall.

Now, of course, Elaine has surpassed our project with her own silver medal for Midlife Cabernet (the book version of her delightful blog), and I’m sure a gold is in her future.

And last June, I decided to put on a wedding dress again, this time, a blue one.

In August 2011, this is what I wrote about what that day, if it ever came, would mean to future me:
Will I ever wear another off-white dress on a day of goofy rituals? I can’t say right now that I see the attraction to that particular fairy tale. These days, I prefer the one where Cinderella breaks through the glass ceiling. But if I do decide again to don the costuming of love, I’m pretty certain of two things: first, I will love someone enough to wear a silly dress for him (this is no small amount of love), and second, I will buy the dress at a thrift store. Because every wedding dress deserves a second chance. 
At that time, I had officially resigned from the dating scene. Unpredictable, shallow men felt like a waste of time compared with my kids or my job. And besides, I was spending about half my time at IEP meetings, and the other half at the Ada County Juvenile Detention Facility or Intermountain Hospital, trying desperately to get help for a sweet little boy who sometimes flew unto uncontrollable violent rages.

Little did I know that the whole time I was crying in my cubicle, wondering how I would take care of my son and my other children, I was actually working right next to the person who would be my future partner in crime, Ed Pack, a red-headed Woodpecker who would promise to aid and abet me in a new set of life adventures (yes, that’s a Tom Robbins reference right there, folks).

I guess in hindsight, I should have known I had a thing for Ed when I offered to drive him to his colonoscopy in October 2011. I thought I was just being a nice boss—I was Jack Donaghy picking up Liz Lemon when she had her root canal on Valentine’s Day. The nurse called me “Mrs. Pack” that afternoon, and I didn’t correct her—maybe her comments got us both thinking.

Since we worked together, a romantic relationship wasn’t possible. But we built a solid friendship, sharing hiking stories and swapping books. Several plot twists later, I was working someplace else, and Mr. Pack called me up asked me out for a beer. It was the first of several—okay, four—dates before I couldn’t keep my hands off of him any longer. Yes, he really is that cute! 

And yes, it is no small amount of love that led me to a beach in Surf City, New Jersey, to wear a stunning light blue silk charmeuse hand beaded dress (new with tags) that I bought at, you guessed it, the Idaho Youth Ranch Thrift Store for $15. It’s my second-best thrift store find ever. The first was a 1925 Model M Steinway piano, in case you are wondering.

I wrote a bluegrass song for Ed and played it on the iPad. He wrote a poem for me, describing all the adventures we had shared, from backpacking the Washington Coast (“embrace the mud!”) to turning off our cell phones the night my “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” post went viral. My kids fought to read us our vows (we had “officially” tied the knot a few days before at City Hall). We took silly beach selfies and watched my younger two play in the waves. I wasn’t too worried about my dress getting wet, because as I mentioned, it was $15. My new sister-in-law provided an elegant touch with peach-colored rose bouquets for my daughter and me, and boutonniers for the boys.

It cannot have been an easy decision for Ed to give up a comfortable solitary existence for the hustle-bustle of my busy life. Similarly, it was very hard for me to develop enough trust in a man to tie the knot again. We both had to be sure we were in this for the long-haul. Everyone has baggage at our stage in life; you just want to be with someone who carries his or her own.

This week, I’m profoundly grateful for that god of second chances, and for a partner who inspires me, supports me, challenges me, and excites me about the possibilities of life. His overarching credo is a sense of wonder, and we share profound gratitude for “all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small.” I’m sure we’ll face challenges—all couples do. But I feel confident in our combined ability to weather storms and marvel at sunrises and sunsets—together.


73 comments:

Unknown said...

I love the pictures! My second chance has lasted 16 great years!

Mitzi said...

My dear friend,
You know almost "first-hand" about my second chance.
It's a joy to see these pictures and to be able to say "I know her."
And to be in that wonderful book.
Mitzi Reinbold w/a Mitzi Flyte

Elaine said...

Thanks, Liza. Excellent as usual.

Anonymous said...

So very lovely, Liza. This one made me tear up a bit. And this, so perfect: "Everyone has baggage at our stage in life; you just want to be with someone who carries his or her own." xoxo

AustinWoman said...

Dear Liza,
I just read the article in People, my guilty pleasure and saw your story.
I married my second husband after 5 years of being a single parent. I am also a speech pathologist and have worked with children for 20 years. I have three children and my husband had two including Brian.
At the time we were getting married I knew Brian had at a minimum ADHD but based on spending time with him knew he had a form of Autism. Later he was diagnosed with OCD, ODD, bipolar, ADHD, Asperger's, personality disorders including narcissism and sociopathic.
Brian died of a drug over dose three months ago. He was 21 years old. There is much more to the story but after him starting a fire in our house and him stealing, we tried every program imaginable with his mother pulling him out. I don't blame her but we are all waking up up to going forward in life. I hope your son is getting the help he needs. You touched me with your story.

Unknown said...

It was wondering if I could use this write-up on my other website, I will link it back to your website though.Great Thanks. Summer Dresses UK

bmophotography said...

I know this is a little late, but congratulations on the recent nuptials! This is fantastic news, and I couldn't think of two people more deserving of a happily ever after.
~Mark and Brittany Ohnsman~

Mela Yulia Putri said...

I am pleased to visit and read the article above, I wait for you to visit the blog Diakui.com then I would be grateful!

Unknown said...

very helpful article I'd like to visit here, visit my blog Kumpulan Berita Ringan

imran ligoy said...

thanks for information.

Jual Beli Manado

jual mobil bekas manado

jual beli manado

jual rumah griya paniki indah




Xiaomi Redmi 2a Beredar Indonesia

Spesifikasi dan Harga Xiaomi Redmi 2

buah untuk diet

buah diabetes

Spesifikasi dan Harga Xiaomi Redmi 1S

buah penambah darah

Ponsel Smartfren Andromax Es

berita indonesia

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Nice momment, nice shar. Love it!


bisnis kecil
minuman murah

Unknown said...

The ability to rise after a breakup is a remarkable thing. I was so inspired by what you've done to your new life. Good luck.

Stella

Surur Ganteng said...

So Sweet blog, this article make my inspiration | kumpulan harga promo terbaru

Unknown said...

thanks a lot for share this best post
فروشگاه اینترنتی

خرید رنگ مو

چاپ دیجیتال

چاپ کاتالوگ

چاپ کارت تبریک نوروز

چاپ کارت دعوت نمایشگاه

baran said...

طرح دلخواه آستین کوتاه زنانهجنس پارچه تی شرت ها جهت

چاپ روی تی شرت با طرح دلخواه شما کاملا نخی و بدون مواد پلاستیکـی اسـت و ظاهـر دوخت و ایست تی شرت طرح دلخواه در تن ضمناً بر طبق مد روز است . چاپ روی تی شرت به ظاهـر مستقیم و با استفاده از شیوه DTG که از فن آوری هد پنج نازل رنگ سفید و 4 نازل رنگی با کیفیت عالی بهره خواهد برد ، به ظاهـر جوهرافشان انجام می گـردد . در این گونه از چاپ تیشرت طرح دلخواه از هیچ کاغذ ترنسفری استفاده نمی گـردد . مواد و جوهر مصرفی برای چاپ تی شرت با عکس دلخواه محصول کشور آمریکا است و به هیچ وجه از مواد چینی استفاده نمی گـردد .
برای مشاهده اطلاعات بیشتر درمورد انواع تیشرت به سایت تاپ تیشرت مراجعه نمایید.

baran said...

تفاوت های مهـم دیگر چاپ دیجیتال و چاپ سنتی مثل چاپ افست:

به علـت پاک وهله ها پیش از چاپ حاوی ( لیتوگرافی ) ، فرایند چاپ دیجیتال سریع تر است.
در چاپ دیجیتال هزینه چاپ به تعداد ورژن های چاپی ارتباطی ندارد و برای هر برگه چاپ شده مقدار ثابتی است.
چاپ دیجیتال در هر دور می تواند تصویر و متن مختـلفی را چاپ نماید و قابل تغییر است چون در این شیوه از پلیت استفاده نخواهد شد.
چاپ دیجیتال مشکی و سفید کم هزینه می باشد.
منبع

Unknown said...

Thanks, Liza, for the mention and for the friendship. Some of us get a third chance! Life is splendid.

baran said...


شرایط و نحوه ارسال کتاب

برای مشاهده شرایط ارسال رایگان کتاب از فروشگاه اینترنتی آسیابوک روی آن کلیک کنید


baran said...


http://everymelody.ir/1397/10/23/download-new-music-eshghe-delami-from-saeid-asghari/

http://everymelody.ir/1397/10/24/download-new-music-donya-from-donya-dadresan/

http://everymelody.ir/1397/10/25/download-new-music-energy-mosbat-from-ali-zibaei/

http://everymelody.ir/1397/10/26/download-new-musicpasho-bia-from-pooyan-mokhtari/

http://everymelody.ir/1397/10/26/%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%84%D9%88%D8%AF-%D8%A2%D9%87%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%B9%D8%B4%D9%82-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85%DA%A9-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%AA%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%87%D9%86/

برای دانلود آهنگ های جیدی و قدیمی به سایت اوری ملودی everymelody.ir مراجعه نمایید.

panda said...

محصولات آرایشی لکسیون

panda said...

دانلود بازی حکم شرطی آنلاین
دانلود بازی پاسور شرطی آنلاین پولی

makeup said...

برای خرید محصولات اسنس به فروشگاه اینترنتی مو تن رو مراجعه نمایید

makeup said...

بازی انفجار

baran said...


قیمت درب اتوماتیک
آیا شما نیزقصد خرید درب اتوماتیک با قیمت مناسب را دارید؟
برای مشاهده قیمت ها و مدل های مختلف درب اتوماتیک و همچنین کرکره برقی می توانید به سایت آکام ترک به آدرس زیر مراجعه نمایید.
https://kerkere-barghi.com/

Nazmehr said...

کرم ضد آفتاب
لیست لوازم آرایشی عروس
کیم کارداشیان
پرایمر
دسته گل عروس
تی آر ایکس یا کراس فیت

Nazmehr said...

کرم ضد آفتاب
لیست لوازم آرایشی عروس
کیم کارداشیان
پرایمر
دسته گل عروس
تی آر ایکس یا کراس فیت

Unknown said...

نمایندگی بوش
لوازم خانگی بوش
فروشگاه اینترنتی

Ahliprint.Com said...

Barakallahu Fiikum.. Ahliprint.Com

sam said...

یکی از کاربرد های کارت ویزیت آن است که روی آن به طور معمول اطلاعات کسب و کار مانند نام و نام خانوادگی، نام و آدرس محل کار، خدمات یا محصولات عرضه شده و شماره تلفن، شماره فکس، وب سایت، آدرس ایمیل و لوگو چاپ می شود.
برای اطلاعات بیشتر کلیک کنید

زیباما said...

نوار بهداشتی و پد روزانه
خرید شامپو آقایان
دستمال مرطوب کودک


افترشیو
خرید لاک ناخن

rahman said...

By pursuing us people can experience a well-rounded shopping. Therefore, you should not miss this extraordinary opportunity.
https://hamechio.com

amc stars said...

This article left me very impressed. I was surfing the Internet directly, until I found this concept very useful and article.The your message is very special is a good factor to attract more visitors to read your site

amc stars said...

This article left me very impressed. I was surfing the Internet directly, until I found this concept very useful and article.The your message is very special is a good factor to attract more visitors to read your site

فارکس said...

Hi I'm Tom and  آموزش فارکس enjoyed reading  فارکس your beautiful content Hope بورس you still have more on your site

monajatcarpet said...

فرش مسجد
فرش سجاده اي
فروش اينترنتي فرش سجاده اي
تابلو فرش چهره
تابلو فرش

parisa said...

link1
link2
link3
link4
link5
link6
link7

خودروبر said...

خودروبرا آماده ارئه خدمات خودروبر
خودروبر کفی
خودروبر تهران
خودرو بر
حمل خودرو
در تمامی نقاط کشور میباشد

Godness said...

ecstasydata2
gamesanookth
proplayerth

mostafa said...

فروشگاه اینترنتی هومهر خرید لوازم آرایشیو بهداشتی
homehr.ir

میس و مستر said...

خرید لوازم آرایشی میس و مستر ، بهترین قیمت ، محصولات اورجینال و اصل ، ارسال به سراسر ایران . انواع محصولات آرایشی صورت آرایشی بدن

فروشگاه اینترنتی رژلب said...


فروشگاه اینترنتی رژلب ، مجموعه ی کاملی از بهترین برندهای صافی و تقویت کننده مو در سراسر جهان را فراهم آورده تا نیاز یکایک شما برای خرید مواد کراتینه مو به صورت پک و میلی ، انواع ماسک ها ، بوتاکس مو ، شامپو فاقد سولفات ، پلکس ، را برطرف کند.

HOSSEIN said...

کره گیاهی

UpdateNewth said...

Update News game nintendo switch
Oceanhorn 2: Knights of the Lost Realm

edok69 said...

This is my blog. Click here.
https://baby5532.hatenablog.com/"

มโน เอาเอง said...

Follow football news And the cool thing here. ติดตาม ข่าวสารฟุตบอล และที่เด็ดได้ที่นี้

หวยเด็ดหวยดัง said...

I will be looking forward to your next post. Thank you
idolthailand21.blogspot
REVIEWS FOR FEELING

amulet88 said...

Maybe the best site right now Terrible that no one is watching
enadco
t-st
guillaumecanet
shannonairportenthusiasts
openergroup

mahdi said...


فرشی برای تو , بهترین برند تولیدی فرش ماشینی , فرش ماشینی کاشان , قیمت فرش ماشینی 1200 شانه , فرش ماشینی مدرن , و تبدیل عکس به تابلو فرش , تابلو فرش عکس چهره , تابلو فرش سفارشی می باشد ,

independent said...

Check out the content of the message here.
http://nufc-iom.com/
http://monclerjacketsoutletsalesonline.com/

independent said...

Check out the content of the message here.
jacksondiscgolf.org
http://airsoftdynamics.net/

garin said...

You can read interesting articles at this link.
ไฮโลออนไลน์
ไฮโลออนไลน์

edok69 said...

Suggest good information in this message, click here.
redwoodcoastrealestate
lelandbchapman

enigma2 said...

Hi I'm Tom and Thanks for your good article , enjoyed reading

surprisemax

good article , enjoyed reading https://surprisemax.com/

mofri1400 said...

میز و صندلی  کودک

มโน เอาเอง said...

Welcome to the new world.
superufabet88.com
supervipufabet.com

Kingfisher said...

เลบรอน-เจมส์-ทำ46แต้ม

mofri1400 said...

Can you use راهنمای خرید this plugin to add مجله ریما files to the user’s account (i.e., can I, as the admin, go in and upload a PDF file to a specific user’s account, and perhaps have ضد فراماسونری that user get some notification that a file has been uploaded  اسمارت مگ     to their account?).

abed said...

انواع خدمات ارتوپد فنی در مشهد و تولید کننده ی بهترین کفی طبی در ایران

abed said...

Back hump, also known as kyphosis, is one of the most common complications in the spine. Due to this disease, the curvature of the patient's spine, in its upper vertebrae, is more than normal. There are several possible causes for this condition. Among the reasons and factors affecting this complication, we can mention congenital factors and a set of acquired factors. In either case, the patient's spine will experience an abnormal increase.
درمان قوز کمر
درمان خار پاشنه
بهترین کفی طبی

Kingfisher said...

เจอร์เกน-คลอปป์-ปกป้อง-อลิซง

Shokun said...

มวยออนไลน์
บอลสูง-ต่ำ เล่นอย่างไร
เว็บพนันออนไลน์
แทงบอล sbobet
วิเคราะห์มวย

Sodana said...

วิธีการดูบอลสเต็ป
ตารางสูตรบาคาร่าฟรี

Kingfisher said...

วิธีการดูบอลสเต็ป

گوگل ادز said...

طراحی سایت حرفه ای

Sodana said...

วิธีดูบอล
ft 1x2 คือ

biyanseo said...

تخلیه چاه

biyanseo said...

رنگ مو
رنگ موی کاکائویی

biyanseo said...


قالب بتن

Sodana said...

ufabet 24h
slots เล่นได้

Sodana said...

หวย สำนัก ไหน แม่น สุด
ราคาบอลเต็ง

Sodana said...

ครึ่งควบลูก
โกง น้ำเต้า ปู ปลา

edok69 said...

Suggest good information in this message, click here.
รวยด้วยบาคาร่า
แนวทางการพนันบอลออนไลน์