Sunday, May 11, 2014

If Only Mother’s Day Were Every Day

Thoughts on why the day doesn’t mean that much to me

The Other Happiest Place on Earth
Every year on Mother's Day weekend for as long as I can remember, the kids and I have packed the Suzuki full of tents, sleeping bags, sleds, and s'mores fixings for our annual camping trip to Bruneau Sand Dunes State Park. The sand dunes are the largest freestanding dunes in North America, and they are one of my happy places, full of good memories. We hike on the sand, chasing (and sometimes catching) lizards and snakes. We cool off in the lake and try to avoid fire ants. We join other families in hiking up one of the smaller dunes and sledding down. At night, we wait our turn to look through the giant telescope at star clusters and galaxies hundreds of light years away.

Then there are the two largest dunes, the park’s main attraction. In the early evening when the air is cool but the sand is still warm, we hike the big dunes. It's not an easy hike, as anyone used to sand will know. You have to plant your feet, go slowly, and expect some sliding. But when you reach the ridge and can see miles of Idaho countryside greened by spring rains, the silver ribbon of the Snake River in the distance, and sweeping skies that feel like falling in love for the first time, it's all worth it. We pause for a moment to rest before the real fun begins. Once we have hiked the length of the ridge back to the trail head, we leap in giant strides, like moon walkers, then fall and roll, laughing and screaming with pure joy.

But back to the holiday at hand. Part of the reason I usually leave town is that I'm uncomfortable with Mother’s Day and always have been. When another friend expressed similar discomfort on her Facebook page this weekend, as everyone else was posting pictures of their wonderful mothers, I snarked, "Mother's Day. AKA Guilt Trip Day. AKA ‘Just pay me the same as a man and skip the flowers’ Day.

We decided not to go this year. A forecast of rain, hail, and frost kept us Boise-bound, safe and warm, watching Minecraft videos on You Tube. Plus, physical ailments--hemorrhoids and that wonderful monthly bleeding, designed by their very nature to remind me of motherhood—made the trip seem less appealing for me; I was more inclined to enjoy “my” day with a glass of wine and a bottle of Vitamin I (ibuprofen) close at hand. 

I also used the weekend to re-establish control of the dire laundry situation, which had come to resemble that Star Trek episode where the cute little Tribbles start reproducing until there’s no room left on the Enterprise. After 13 loads washed, folded, and put away, I am proud to say I have everything under control except the socks—and that’s okay, because I raised my kids to think that mismatched socks were the epitome of coolness, a fashion statement rather than a faux pas.

The fact that I'm not fond of Mother's day does not mean I don’t love my mother. My Mom is one of those remarkable people who seem quiet enough when you first meet them, and then you learn that she raised six kids after her husband died of cancer, has two Masters degrees, loves to write and direct children's theater, can build a house from the ground up, and hiked to the top of Mt. Whitney at the age of 64, mainly (I think) because she wanted the summit photo as her Christmas card picture.

Maybe it’s my Mom who taught me not to be comfortable with Mother’s Day. From an early age, I was sensitive to the following groups of people who shared my gender:

  1. Women who are not mothers, for whatever reason.
  2. Women who are raising their children on their own, for whatever reason.
  3. Women who have lost a child or children, for whatever reason.
  4. Women who have lost their own mothers, for whatever reason.   
For all these women, Mother’s Day can bring more sorrow than it does joy. And instead of passing women-friendly legislation, or putting more women on corporate boards, or electing more women representatives, or fighting for women’s reproductive rights, or passing living wage laws that mostly help single moms, or helping mothers with families in mental health crisis, we relegate the whole “Mother” thing to a single day characterized by sappy cards and Champagne Brunch. (Not that I am complaining about the Champagne Brunch, mind you!).

We’re going to Bruneau next weekend. The forecast promises sunny skies and clear night for star gazing. As I look at those star clusters, millions of light years from earth, I’ll think about how far we still have to go to make every day a Mother’s Day. And how grateful I am to share my happy place with four children who gave me 13 loads of laundry, hemorrhoids…and so much more. 

47 comments:

Jennavier Gilbert said...

What a wonderful way to handle this problem. I really struggled yesterday because in the last year I've miscarried multiple times and my relationship with my mother has deteriorated significantly. It was hard to get through the day yesterday.

Unknown said...

Find best Home based Business without any work, just invest and rest with your profit
EarningsClub.com

georgeus said...

[SHARE]
Informasi program beasiswa tanpa TEST dalam dan luar negeri bagi Mahasiswa, Dosen, Pegawai Aparatur Sipil Negara (GURU & PNS), maupun Swasta dan UMUM:
Beasiswa S1 Dalam Negeri
Beasiswa S1 UI
Beasiswa S1 UNDIP
Beasiswa S1 UGM
Beasiswa S1 UNPAD
Beasiswa S1 Luar Negeri (SINGAPURA) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $2000/bln
Beasiswa S1 Luar Negeri (MALAYSIA) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $2000/bln
Beasiswa S1 Luar Negeri (MESIR) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $2500/bln

Beasiswa S1 Luar Negeri (JPN) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $2500/bln

Beasiswa S1 Luar Negeri (AUS)+ Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $3000/bln
Beasiswa S2 Luar Negeri (AUS) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $3500/bln

Beasiswa S2 Luar Negeri (JPN) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $3500/bln
Beasiswa S2 Luar Negeri (US) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $5000/bln

Beasiswa S2 Luar Negeri (JERMAN) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $4500/bln
Beasiswa S2 Luar Negeri (INGGRIS) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $4500/bln
Beasiswa S2 Luar Negeri (PARIS) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $4500/bln
Beasiswa S2 Luar Negeri (MESIR) + Uang Saku + Biaya Hidup $3500/bln

Raj said...

Quite touching read on Mothers Day, thanks and wish you all a very Happy Mothers Day.

Happy Mothers Day Quote

Unknown said...

I got what you mean , saved to my bookmarks , very nice website . images of good friday history

Unknown said...

I’d also like to say that most of those that find themselves with out health insurance can be students, self-employed and people who are jobless. More than half from the uninsured are really under the age of Thirty-five. They do not come to feel they are needing health insurance since they are young in addition to healthy. Their particular income is typically spent on houses, food, and entertainment. Most people that do go to work either full or not professional are not made available insurance by their jobs so they move without with the rising cost of health insurance in the usa. Thanks for the tips you write about through this website. Mothers Day Wishes To All The Mothers

Unknown said...

I undoubtedly didn’t understand that. Learnt some thing new nowadays! Thanks for that. Easter Free Wallpapers Screensavers

Claudia Austin said...

Simply put, whatever kids sport your child is most interested in is the best choice for them. However, considering things like personality, physical attributes and age among others make the decision-making more complicatedRead more

Educational information hub said...

4th Of July Quotes Message

thanks sir for kind information

pooja said...

Thanks for sharing this information. I really like your blog post very much. You have really shared an informative and interesting blog post with people.
Happy Mothers Day Images 2020

Shah G said...


Thanks for sharing this information.

Mothers Day Gift Ideas DIY 2020

Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing such a awesome infromation helpful .10hoth Product Reviews

Unknown said...

Thank you soo much i have got great thoughts from your blog . Canada Scholarships

Unknown said...


Thank you soo much i have got great thoughts from your blog
Canada Scholarships

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing very important informations Cheap Web hosting UK

Unknown said...

Thankyou for sharing such a awesome informations Canada Scholarships

Unknown said...

Canada Scholarships

Halfmad SEO said...

I really happy found this website eventually. Really informative I am Sharing a website where you can get the latest black kilts for sale white kilts for sale

Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing very helpful information. Garage Door Repair Near Me

Unknown said...

Your Blog has helped me through a lot of ups and downs Mack Granite Parts

Unknown said...

Thank you soo much i have got great thoughts from your blog. Agencies in Manchester

jerryshaw said...

thanks for sharing this info with me
Mobdro Premium Apk

jerryshaw said...

thanks for sharing this
pool company in oshawa

health and safety said...

Cbd Products in Oshawa
Cbd Products in Whitby

jerryshaw said...

THANKS FOR SHARING THIS INFPO WITH US
tree removal service in peterborough
tree pruning service in kawartha lakes

jerryshaw said...

u have shared nice info with us
painters in Oshawa
painters in Whitby

jerryshaw said...

u have shared nyc info with us
rmt massage in Oshawa
registered massage therapist in Oshawa

jerryshaw said...

u have gave us great ideas
Film Production
Green screen
Social media videos

jerryshaw said...

I LOVE THAT INFO WHICH U HAVE SHARED
best office chairs 2021
best office chair under 200$
best cheap gaming chairs 2021

brandtech said...

There are specific dissertation webpages online publications possess obviously exposed within the web-site.Online Security Guard Training

Varii Promotions said...

This particular is usually apparently essential and moreover outstanding truth along with for sure fair-minded and moreover admittedly useful My business is looking to find in advance designed for this specific useful stuffs… promotion agencies

Drug Rehab said...

I was surfing net and fortunately came across this site and found very interesting stuff here. Its really fun to read. I enjoyed a lot. Thanks for sharing this wonderful information. chicago  illinois drug rehab

Biznes Joker said...

Really I enjoy your site with effective and useful information. It is included very nice post with a lot of our resources.thanks for share. i enjoy this post. what business to open

United Recovery Project said...

I’m going to read this. I’ll be sure to come back. thanks for sharing. and also This article gives the light in which we can observe the reality. this is very nice one and gives indepth information. thanks for this nice article...  rochester new york drug rehab centers

Mike Johnson said...

Great place On photo I see! I would make there video for my tiktok channel and of course buy tiktok likes from this site https://soclikes.com/buy-tiktok-likes

United Recovery Project said...

i never know the use of adobe shadow until i saw this post. thank you for this! this is very helpful. Hollywood FL inpatient drug rehab

Sk said...

There are some dissertation web pages while using internet when you turn out to be obviously stated in your weblog.hand sifter

QQ Slot 4d said...

We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post. I was exactly searching for. Thanks for such post and please keep it up. Great work. Agen QQ slot

Unknown said...

Wow! Such an amazing and helpful post this is. I really really love it. It's so good and so awesome. I am just amazed. I hope that you continue to do your work like this in the future also Rehabs in lake  worth  florida

jhon said...

I am impressed. I don't think Ive met anyone who knows as much about this subject as you do. You are truly well informed and very intelligent. You wrote something that people could understand and made the subject intriguing for everyone. Really, great blog you have got here.
hand sifter

Gloria said...

Great content, thanks for sharing. Anyways, here is my first written article 50 most popular women. Kindly like and share.

Gloria said...

If you would also like to know more about studying in Canada, join Canada's student forum to ask your questions and read helpful posts about studying in Canada.

Gloria said...

If you would also like to know more about studying in Canada, join Canada student forum to ask your questions and read helpful posts about studying in Canada.

Sk said...

There are various dissertation internet websites online if you come across not surprisingly defined as part of your site.amazon backscratchers

United Recovery Project said...

Thanks for the blog loaded with so many information. Stopping by your blog helped me to get what I was looking for. clearwater drug rehab

Unknown said...

Durch die Digitalisierung kommen zudem nicht nur grosse Herausforderungen auf uns zu, es entstehen auch Möglichkeiten sich den technischen Fortschritt durch Kreativität, mentale Stärke und wirkungsvolles Wissen zu Nutze zu machen. Sehr viele Menschen werden durch Roboter und Automaten ersetzt oder müssen innerhalb des Unternehmens andere Tätigkeitsbereiche übernehmen. In diesem Coaching Programm werden dem Coachingteilnehmer praktische Tipps, Personal Power - Persönlichkeitsentwicklungbewusstseinsverändernde Denkansätze, Überlegungen und wertvolle Erfahrungswerte vermittelt. Durch das vermittelte Wissen ist der Coachingteilnehmer mit der Digitalisierung nicht überfordert, sondern in der Lage durch Achtsamkeit, mentale Stärke, Kreativität und das nötige Know-How mit der Digitalisierung Schritt zu halten. Das Personal Power Coaching ist somit Persönlichkeitsentwicklung auf höchstem Niveau.

Ever Lighten said...

Very efficiently written information. It will be beneficial to anybody who utilizes it, including me. Keep up the good work. For sure i will check out more posts. This site seems to get a good amount of visitors. https://everlighten.com/