It's Time to Talk about Fear and Love

What do guns, race, and mental illness have in common?

Charleston shooting demands difficult conversations about guns, race, and mental illness

James Holmes was obsessed with Batman. Elliott Rodger thought all women hated him and he needed to exact revenge. Adam Lanza killed innocent first graders, an act that shocked the collective national conscience. Now, in a country already reeling from racial turmoil, mass shooter Dylann Roof has targeted black churchgoers. All of the shooters were described as “quiet bright boys” who became increasingly isolated in their teens.  For all of them, numerous red flags were raised.

In his national response to the tragedy, President Obama observed what many have been saying for years: “This type of mass violence doesn’t happen in other advanced countries.” 

That’s not entirely true: Norway’s 2011 massacre, the attacks on Charlie Hebdo in France, and the Germanwings crash show that other nations experience unpredictable and senseless violence as well. But Obama’s still-valid point is essentially the same one muckraker Michael Moore made in Bowling for Columbine (2002). There’s something different about guns and America.

Let’s look at what we know about gun violence.

Fact: Mass shootings account for only about two percent of all gun violence in the United States. In 2015, only 133 of 5,767 deaths caused by gun violence were the result of mass shootings. In fact, you are much more likely to die in an airplane crash than in a mass shooting event. 

Fact: Blacks are disproportionately affected by gun violence. Though blacks make up only about 13 percent of the U.S. population, 55 percent of all people who died by homicide in 2010 were black. 

Fact: To date in 2015, there have been 2,025 reported and verified shootings involving law enforcement. It is hard to know exactly how high this number is because the government does not track police shootings. The Washington Post has reported 385 fatalities this year so far; The Guardian 470. According to a Pro Publica study, young black men are 21 times more likely to be shot by police than young white men. 

Fact: Suicide completion is the second leading cause of death for people ages 15-34, with 41,149 deaths by suicide completion across all age groups in 2013. Almost 60 percent of deaths by gun violence are completed suicides; the vast majority (87 percent) of suicide gun violence victims are male.

Fact: Based on studies of mass shooters, about half of the shooters suffered from serious mental illness. But the most common form of violence associated with mental illness is self-harm; more than ten percent of people diagnosed with schizophrenia and 15-17 percent of people with bipolar disorder die by completing suicide.

President Obama acknowledged that gun control is not going to happen, not even when a Bible study group is gunned down by a young man obsessed with white supremacist dogma. That’s why it’s up to each of us to face up to what guns, race, and mental illness represent in America. The seemingly endless and unproductive debates are really about our fear. It’s time to change that conversation.

How do we solve the gun issue?

We all look in the mirror and admit that we are afraid to die. We acknowledge that we likely will have no control over the time, place, or manner of our deaths. Then we start living. As part of our commitment to overcoming fear, we educate ourselves, practice responsible gun ownership, and teach it to our children. (Also, we start tracking data about law enforcement and gun violence.)

How do we solve the race issue?

We all look in the mirror and say, “I’m human. So is everyone else, no matter what color his or her skin is.” Then we start to treat people the way we want to be treated. We hold doors open for people of all genders and races. We write thank you notes to each other and buy each other’s coffee in the drive through lines. If we’re white, we recognize that we have privilege, and we fight even harder for the rights of those who do not share that privilege.

How do we solve the mental illness issue?

We all look in the mirror and say, "Mental illness is not a choice or a character flaw." Then we end stigma and provide treatment. Mental illness is a costly public health crisis, in both financial and ethical terms.  U.S. Representative Tim Murphy has reintroduced his “Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act” with significant revisions that can help individuals, families, and communities to improve access to care. 

In the wake of mass shootings, I used to write about the need to provide treatment before tragedy. My new message is this: enough about tragedy. Let's focus on treatment. Treatment provides hope, and love overcomes fear.

The American writer Thomas Wolfe wrote, “To believe that new monsters will arise as vicious as the old, to believe that the great Pandora's Box of human frailty, once opened, will never show a diminution of its ugly swarm, is to help, by just that much, to make it so forever.” Let’s stop believing in new monsters and start hoping instead for an America that can overcome its fear—of guns, of race, and of mental illness. Today we may feel lost and hopeless and afraid. But as Nelba Marquez-Greene, a grieving mother who lost her six year old daughter to gun violence, said one month after her daughter’s senseless death, “We choose love. Love wins in Newtown, and may love win in America.” 

   

I'm betting on love.

What Would Jesus Sing?

Maybe It's Time for Some New Christmas Carols

I was raised by Mormon hippies. In addition to traditional Christmas carols like “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing” and “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” (my father was especially fond of the “figgy pudding” verse), we learned the complete canon of 60s protest anthems, including one of my favorites, as sung by Peter, Paul, and Mary, “If I Had a Hammer.”  The song was written by Pete Seeger and Lee Hays in 1949 to reflect the progressive labor movement and experienced a “second coming” as a civil rights era anthem in the 60s. 

Remember when people could protest bad stuff and change the world?

It’s that time of year again—the time when media professionals take advantage of unusually quiet offices to compile their annual “Top Ten” lists. Most 2014 lists will likely lead with the tragic deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner (and perhaps of Brooklyn police officers Rafael Ramos, and Wenjian Liu)—manifestations of the same civil rights tragedies that my parents used to sing about 50 years ago. In fact, the past few years have seen several stories of marginalized people protesting privilege and power.

In 2011, Occupy Wall Street was declared the most important news story in a year that included the Gabby Giffords shooting by a man who had schizophrenia and the deaths of Osama bin Laden and Steve Jobs. I had a chance to see the Occupy movement for myself when I was visiting friends in November 2011, the weekend before Mayor Bloomberg shut the Zuccotti Park party down. My first-hand impressions were not positive. I talked to the self-proclaimed media liaison, a pleasant-faced union organizer who refused to give me his real name, though he told me he had been bussed in from Pittsburgh. We had an interesting discussion about classism and Marx, the kind you can’t generally have in Idaho. But while I wanted to sympathize with the message of the 99 percent, what I witnessed was less a collection of legitimate movement sympathizers and more an exploitation of homeless people, many with mental illness.

(Aside: 2011 also saw a black man, Troy Davis, executed by the state of Georgia for the 1989 murder of an off-duty white police officer. Davis steadfastly maintained his innocence, and there was no physical evidence linking him to the crime).

In 2012, the top stories were mass shootings: the tragic deaths of 20 first graders, 6 educators, Adam Lanza, and his mother in Newtown, Connecticut; and the Aurora, Colorado movie theater shooting by James Holmes, a young man with schizophrenia. The shootings trumped even the 2012 presidential election and Hurricane Sandy.

(Aside: In February 2012, an unarmed black teenager, Trayvon Martin, was shot and killed by George Zimmerman; according to Pew Research Center, 70 percent of blacks closely followed the story, while only 30 percent of whites cared.)

In 2013, we lost a cultural warrior, Nelson Mandela, and gained another one, Pope Francis. George Zimmerman was acquitted of second degree murder in the Martin case, sparking protests that have simmered and erupted ever since. Princess Kate had a baby, and two Chechen brothers brought terror back to America in the Boston Marathon bombings.

(Aside: The most prominent mass shooting of 2013, Eliot Rodger’s Santa Barbara rampage, didn’t make the top ten news stories, nor did any of the 26 other mass shootings that year. Still, in 2013, we talked about guns, and we talked about mental health, and some of us even hoped we would do something. Representative Tim Murphy introduced a comprehensive mental health reform bill, the “Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act.” Despite broad-based bipartisan support, the legislation died in committee this year.)

In 2014, we heard about police shootings (many of those killed had mental illness). And we heard a lot about Ebola. As of December 22, the World Health Organization reported 7,518 deaths in West Africa from the virulent hemorrhagic fever. The World Health Organization reports that suicide deaths globally are more than 100 times more common, with more than 800,000 people dying by suicide each year. In fact, suicide is the second leading cause of death after accidents for people ages 15-29.  

(Aside: We talked about suicide in 2014 too, first in February when Phillip Seymour Hoffman died of an overdose at the age of 46, then with beloved comedian Robin Williams’s tragic death in August. But neither story made the top ten cut, nor did the fact that James Holmes, who is known to have schizophrenia, is facing a death penalty trial, while Scott Panetti, who also has well documented schizophrenia narrowly avoided death at the hands of the State of Texas.)

Which brings me to Christmas.

Forgive me for asking, but sometimes I wonder, when I look at the mess this world has become: what would Jesus do? Yes, that Jesus, the “reason for the season,” the baby god born in poverty, raised in a climate of oppression and social injustice?

Jesus would demand change. Jesus would tell us to love each other. Jesus would die for his truth.

Meanwhile, we buy presents—so many presents!—and bake cookies and sing “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.” 

We are comfortable with the baby Jesus, lying serenely in his manger while angels watch over him.

We are less comfortable with Jesus in the synagogue, speaking truth to power. Or Jesus on the cross, dying to save people who just don't want to be saved.

I think that if Jesus could choose his own carols, he would prefer Pete Seeger’s call to action: “It’s the hammer of justice! It’s the bell of freedom! It’s the song about love between my brothers and my sisters all over this land.”

Maybe we need some new Christmas carols in 2015.

Oh SAMHSA, Where Art Thou?

Forced treatment already exists. It's called prison.

What did Newtown mean, if we can’t get help for children and families in mental health crisis?

I have a confession to make. Until about a year ago, I had no idea what SAMHSA was. I had never even heard of it. My son has struggled with serious behavioral issues for more than nine years, which we now know are caused by his bipolar disorder. We were working with a small army of social workers, counselors, school personnel, psychiatrists, therapists—and I was well-versed in a small textbook of acronyms like IEP, SMI, ADHD, ODD, ADA, etc. But not one time was SAMHSA or any of its programs ever mentioned to me as a resource.

I’m going to assume that you’re like me, that you also have no idea what SAMHSA is or what it stands for. It’s the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, and it’s important because it gives out a ton of grant money—they have requested $3.6 billion for next year—to community organizations, many of which I also personally support with my own time and money. According to the agency’s own website, “Congress established the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) in 1992 to make substance use and mental disorder information, services, and research more accessible.”

Well, to put it bluntly, if that’s its mission, SAMHSA sucks.

A New Kind of Stigma

One of SAMHSA’s top priorities is the elimination of stigma that surrounds mental illness. And that’s important, because stigma harms children and families. DJ Jaffe of mentalillnesspolicy.org recently argued that stigma does not exist—that prejudice and discrimination are the real problem. I disagree with him on the first point, but could not agree more fervently with the second.

You don’t have to go any farther than the SAMHSA webpage to see an example of prejudice and discrimination against people with serious mental illness. Look around. Can you find anything—even the littlest thing—that talks about SMI? The message I get from SAMHSA is this: “Behavioral health is essential to health. Prevention Works. People Recover. Treatment is effective.”

I wish this were always true. For people with serious mental illness, people like my son, too often it’s not.

Pretty words, no substance

SAMHSA, the very organization tasked with serving children who have mental illness and their families, creates stigma by refusing to talk about—let alone provide solutions for—the inconvenient truths that plague too many of us: violence, prison, homelessness, fear. In fact, in its focus on “behavioral health” and “recovery,” I would propose that SAMHSA actually creates its own pernicious, subversive form of stigmatization within the very community that is supposed to be supporting people with mental illness.

Behavioral health implies choice. So does recovery. SAMHSA promotes a consumer model, where people with behavioral problems choose to get help and recover. The problem is that this approach does not reflect reality. For many people who suffer from Serious Mental Illness—schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression—choice is not an option.

Forced Treatment Already Exists. It’s Called Prison.

Why does this matter? Because right now, Representative Tim Murphy has proposed legislation that would overhaul our nation’s broken mental health system, providing much needed treatment to people with serious mental illness and restoring accountability to SAMHSA, an organization that has suffered from a massive dose of mission creep. HR 3717, the “Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act,” was drafted after extensive consultation with parents like me, consumers of mental health care, law enforcement professionals, and other stakeholders in this increasingly serious mental health crisis that has created an environment where mass shootings or stabbings barely make the news anymore.

But community organizations are out in full force against the bill. I know this, because as I mentioned, I volunteer for many organizations, and I am on their mailing lists. The primary rallying cry against the bill seems to be the idea of “forced treatment,” or treating people against their will. Here’s an example of the type of language they are using:

[HR 3717] is intentionally designed to make it sound benign and to gloss over the potential harm and many rights violations. For example, 'increase access to mental health treatment,' in many instances, means increased force. Empowering 'family members' means taking away privacy protections and rights to confidentiality for adults in mental health services. Expanding 'access to evidence-based treatments,' means eliminating access to alternatives that don't have the funds to become 'evidence-based.' Advancing 'medical research' means severely reducing funds to other groups and organizations, including the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). 

Oh, I get it. You can’t show any measurable outcomes for your education or anti-stigma or peer support program, and you are afraid you’ll lose your funding.

As a response, Democrats are rumored to be presenting their own mental health bill this week, eliminating the provisions of Murphy’s bill which would have helped families in mental health crisis the most. What I want to say to these probably well-meaning representatives is this: forced treatment for people with mental illness already exists. It’s called prison. E.F. Torrey, the mental health industry’s Cassandra, issued a clear-eyed warning about treating serious mental illness in jail back in 1993, and today, the problem is even larger.  

What Murphy’s bill actually calls for is Assisted Outpatient Treatment (AOT), and it’s a proven way to keep people out of jail and off the streets. In drafting HR 3717, Rep.Murphy, a child psychologist, did his homework. He talked to those of us who are living this nightmare. He knows what we need to prevent another tragedy like what happened to Creigh Deeds, or to countless other families. I want to ask those representatives who are not supporting Murphy: what did Newtown mean, if we can’t get help for children and families in mental health crisis?

I’m Okay, You’re Okay

The thing is, I also agree with SAMHSA. For neurotypical people like me, behavioral health is incredibly important to overall health and quality of life. I know this firsthand. Like most Americans, I have personally experienced bouts of situational depression. My senior year of college, I broke off an engagement. My father was dying of cancer. I could not experience any joy or imagine any meaning to life. I became passively suicidal and began to control the only thing I felt I could control: my daily intake of food.

Fortunately, my wonderful roommates intervened and got me help. I learned to overcome my negative thoughts, to exercise, to practice yoga. I developed resilience. I am grateful to the therapists, and yes, to the Zoloft, that got me through that dark period in my life. The tools I learned have proved invaluable to me as I have faced even greater challenges throughout my life. And I return to therapy whenever I need an objective third party to help me realistically assess my situational challenges. I guess you could say I’m in recovery.

This kind of thing doesn’t work for my son who has bipolar disorder. Not at all. The recovery model doesn’t work all that well for a subset of the population who suffer from addiction, either, as Philip Seymour Hoffman’s tragic death demonstrated.

In “The Lie of Focusing on Those with Serious Mental Illness,” Dr. John Grohol argued that we should treat all mental illness equally.  I respectfully disagree. We need to provide help and hope to families in crisis, before the next Newtown, before the next (insert location of most recent mass shooting). Our current system of forced treatment—prison—or no treatment—homelessness—must end.

This Is Serious

Image from http://agathoi.wordpress.com/2012/12/02/stoic-week-and-a-trip-to-the-er/ambulance/

Why HR 3717 “Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act” is so critical to care

It’s 3:00 in the morning. I’m sitting in a brightly lit waiting room at the ER, cuddling my then-three year old son, who can’t stop screaming and tugging at his ears. His cheeks are bright red; his duck-fuzz white hair stands up in all directions. I rub his green crocheted blankie—he calls it “Biss” for reasons still unknown—against his forehead, trying to sooth him.

I’m exhausted. The whole night has been like this. But it looks like we’re next in line for treatment.

Then my son's cries are drowned out by wailing sirens. An ambulance pulls up to the bay; we hear (but cannot see) a flurry of activity, intercoms buzzing. It’s a car accident, severe trauma. We wait, but without resentment. The Emergency Room is not like a grocery store checkout line, with first come, first served. It’s constant triage, assessing the most urgent needs first.

Ten years later, it’s my son, now 13, in the ambulance, held in restraints to keep him from bolting or striking people. Ten years later, it’s my son at the front of the line for treatment when we reach the emergency room. But once he’s calm and rational again, they send us home with five days’ worth of Zyprexa. There are no beds in the psychiatric hospital.

My emergency room story ended better than Virginia State Senator Creigh Deeds’s, whose beloved son Gus stabbed his father and shot himself.  My story ended better than Jared Loughner’s, who fired on Congresswoman Gabby Giffords. My story ended better than Eric Belluci’s,who (despite the existence of Kendra’s Law) killed both his parents with a hunting knife. My story ended better than Kelli Stapleton’s, who became so frustrated with the lack of support that she took her daughter to the woods without planning to return.

I still fear, as every parent of a child with a serious mental illness fears, that my son’s story may end like Kelly Thomas’s—that he will be beaten or shot by law enforcement officers who lack training in dealing with people who have mental illness.

These stories—my own and millions of others—are why I strongly support Representative Tim Murphy’s proposed comprehensive legislation to overhaul a broken mental health system. I was one of the parents who testified in an initial fact-finding forum, where Rep. Murphy and his colleagues asked what families need to help our children. You can read my op-eds in the Idaho Statesman and  Hartford Courant, both of which outline briefly why this legislation is so important for families like mine.

But the critics of HR 3717 are out in full force. Their position is pretty well summarized on psychcentral.com author Jon Grohol’s blog post, “The Lie of Focusing onThose with Serious Mental Illness,” written in response to mental health advocate DJ Jaffe, who dared to address the opposition’s elephant in the room: funding. Representative Murphy’s bill would restructure SAMHSA and require accountability through evidence-based outcomes. And some people are afraid of that.

I actually agree with Grohol about a few things. There’s no question that ADHD or anxiety or OCDs can make life difficult for those who have these conditions. And he’s right about arbitrary lines drawn in the mental health community—I cannot tell you how often I have heard the phrase, “Well, my son has autism. That’s just a developmental disability, not a mental illness like what your son has.”

But Grohol is incorrect in stating that supporters of Murphy’s legislation don’t think everyone with any kind of mental illness—not just serious mental illness—deserves treatment. As for the “lie” of serious mental illness? Here’s the thing. People with serious mental illness are NOT treated better or with different resources, as Grohol contends. Too often, they are not treated at all—at great cost to individuals, families, and communities. There are ten times as many people with mental illness in jails as in hospitals—read author Pete Earley’s excellent response, calling this fact “a national scandal.”

My biggest problem with Grohol’s argument is this statement: “What’s not needed is cramming forced treatment laws down state’s throats — even if their own citizens don’t want them.”

Forced Treatment. Wow, that sounds horrible! Kind of like the Death Tax—remember how the Republicans so brilliantly re-branded the estate tax, which affects a very small percentage of Americans, and made us all afraid that we would have to pay it?

We’re not talking about “forced treatment” here. We are talking about saving lives of people who, as a symptom of their illness, may not be aware of their condition. And the correct term is Assisted Outpatient Treatment or AOT. Already in the U.S., 45 of 50 states have AOT laws on their books, because they recognize that these laws help people with serious mental illness, save money, and improve communities. The fact is that AOT laws work. They improve the lives of people with mental illness and help their families. They reduce recidivism. Most important, they keep people with mental illness out of prison.

Let’s go back to my first night in the emergency room with my son. He had a double ear infection. The doctor was able to soothe his pain with a topical solution and sent us home with a prescription for antibiotics. The next day, he was a (mostly) cheerful preschooler again.

But the person who was in the car accident likely faced many months of recovery. I see mental illness in the same way—no “arbitrary lines,” no “Balkanization,” just sound, medical treatment decisions about urgency of care. I’m not saying my son’s bipolar disorder is somehow “better” or “more important” than your child’s ADHD. But the reality is that your child’s ADHD probably won’t land him or her in jail.

That’s not my reality. 

No Answers

Why we need first aid kits for physical and mental health

On the first Wednesday of December, I had big plans for my children. There’s something about this past year—the stress, the anxiety, the uncertainty—that has made me nostalgic for Christmas in a way I haven’t been for a long time. I gave up on physical Christmas cards years ago, opting for email ostensibly because I wanted to be green, but really because I was just lazy. And even an artificial tree is usually too much work.

But this year, I wanted real Christmas cards, real homemade sugar cookies and creamy fudge and steaming mugs of frothy cocoa, and a real, fragrant, noble pine tree.

Wednesdays are important days for me. Since my blog about my son with mental illness went viral in December 2012, four hours after school and every other weekend have been my only times to be with my younger two children. When you have to cram a whole week’s worth of love into four hours, every minute, every second counts. And this first Wednesday in December, I wanted to create perfect Christmas memories.

In hindsight, I should have listened to my daughter. She wanted the smallest tree, but her brothers talked me into a bigger one, perhaps too large for our two-bedroom town-home. We lashed the tree with twine to the top of the car, and I made my way home with an excess of caution, annoying the drivers behind me as the kids and I hollered out Christmas carols at twenty miles per hour.

“Let’s saw off the end of the tree so it can hydrate,” I told my 16-year old son when we got home. We hunted for the saw, an old dull one, and he began to work in earnest on the trunk. It was knotty. I held the tree firmly between my knees as he sawed. “Be careful,” I warned.

Too late. In one instant, the saw glanced off a knot, gauged into his finger. He cried out and ran into the house to apply pressure while I hauled out the first aid kit. As we wrapped his throbbing, bloody finger in gauze, it was clear that we needed to get medical attention right away. My mind raced—I thought of my son’s piano playing, his dream of becoming a surgeon. Could one freak Christmas tree accident ruin everything?

“Come on, guys,” I called to the others. “Change of plans.”

We piled into the car and drove around the corner to the Doc in a Box, where we are on a first name basis with the staff.

More than two hours (and nine stitches) later, it was time to take the younger children back to their Dad’s house. No cookies, no fudge, no cocoa. No decorating the tree, which lay forlornly on its side, shedding needles all over the carpet.

“Mom,” my 14-year old son said when I got home. “I think it would be a good idea if you did all the sawing from now on. It was really inconvenient to have X cut his finger like that, right during our time with the kiddos.”

(Thank you, son, for stating the obvious).

My son sliced his finger just a few days after the Connecticut State Attorney released the report about what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School last year. And that report has been on my mind. The verdict? No answers. Lots of legally purchased guns. And a young man with a long history of mental illness.

From the report:

"The obvious question that remains is: “Why did the shooter murder twenty-seven people, including twenty children?” Unfortunately, that question may never be answered conclusively, despite the collection of extensive background information on the shooter through a multitude of interviews and other sources…. It is known that the shooter had significant mental health issues that affected his ability to live a normal life and to interact with others, even those to whom he should have been close. As an adult he did not recognize or help himself deal with those issues."

No answers. It’s the hardest thing about life, isn’t it? When something bad, worse, or truly horrible happens, we want answers. We want accountability. Maybe we even want revenge.

At the very least, we crave simple cause and effect. We want fairness, and we want life to make sense.

But it doesn’t. It just doesn’t.

After my son cut his finger, my friends tried to make light of it. “Anyone can have cookies and cocoa,” one joked. “How many people get stitches for Christmas? That’s the way to make lasting memories!”

I'd still prefer the other, more conventional memories. For me, the accident was a reminder that sometimes bad things happen, and those things are beyond our control. In fact, all too often, all we can control is our reaction to the event.  We can choose to hate. Or we can choose to forgive.

What have we, as a society, done since Sandy Hook to help people with “significant mental health issues,” people like Adam Lanza, Jared Loughner, Seung Hui Cho, James Holmes, Aaron Alexis, Gus Deeds? In my essay last year, I said that it was time to talk about mental illness, and it was.

It’s still time to talk. And it’s definitely past time to stop blaming the mothers, a memo I’d like to send to Emily Miller, senior opinion editor of the Washington Post, who apparently still thinks that’s the solution: 

"In the end, we can’t blame lax gun-control laws, access to mental health treatment, prescription drugs or video games for Lanza’s terrible killing spree. We can point to a mother who should have been more aware of how sick her son had become and forced treatment.”

But Adam Lanza was 20 years old. Even if his mother had recognized that his insistence on communicating solely through email was a little off, Nancy Lanza would have had a potentially uphill fight to force treatment for her adult son, as Pete Earley and others have noted. The fact is that the whole system is broken, and tragedies like Newtown are inevitable until we start to make real changes in how we view and treat mental illness.

In a pointed call for action nearly one year after the Newtown tragedy, Linda Rosenburg, CEO of the National Council for Behavioral Health, recommended a practical, real-world solution: Mental Health First Aid training for everyone, so that we all can recognize the early signs and symptoms of mental illness and intervene before it’s too late. 

“Mental Health First Aid makes it OK to have the difficult conversations — it helps people open up and talk with family, friends, and coworkers. It ends the isolation and offers a path out of the despair,” Rosenburg wrote. 

Mental health first aid might be just what we need. When my son cut his finger, we grabbed the first aid kit. Then we called the doctor and got him the care that he needed. In a few more days, he will play Christmas carols with a healthy finger.

It’s about time we had the same solutions for mental health. Enough talk. It’s time to act.

Write Your Truth

How to make your blog go viral in three easy steps

A few weeks ago, I had an opportunity to do something I had secretly wanted to do for a long time. No, I’m not talking about skinny dipping at a secret Idaho hot spring (though it’s possible I did that too). I was invited to speak to an audience of talented writers at Elaine Ambrose’s annual “Write by the River” retreat in Garden Valley, an event which has previously hosted literary luminaries Alan Heathcock, Tony Doerr, Jennifer Basye Sanders (one of my short stories appears in her Miracle under the Christmas Tree collection), A.K. Turner, Gretchen Anderson, Stacy Dymalski,  Doug Copsey,and of course, the inimitable author of Midlife Cabernet, Ms. Ambrose herself.

I’m sure I’m missing someone here, and please forgive me. Boise has a lot of world-class writers on first-name bases. We’re kind of like Iowa, only our writers’ workshops are supportive and polite in the “constructive feedback” process. Also, we have lots of brew pubs.

The lineup for this season’s blogging-themed retreat was intimidating. Stephanie Worrell, PR maven and founder of Red Sky, kicked off the show with a 42 page comprehensive guide to writing, producing, and starring in Your Blog. Stephanie was followed by writer Ken Rodgers, who independently produced (with his talented wife Betty) a moving documentary about the siege of Khe Sanh called Bravo: Common Men, Uncommon Valor. Then there was The Anarchist Soccer Mom. I described how to get yourself a publicist and hide under a rock when your blog about a controversial topic—your son who has mental illness, for example—goes viral.

I can’t really tell you how to make your blog go viral, by the way. As for handling the media, well, let’s just say that I didn’t even know who Anderson Cooper was until my friends told me. I haven’t had commercially broadcast television since 2002. But I learned this: stick to your message. You don’t have to defend yourself for saying something that needed to be said!

I can tell you this: we live in an age, as former Vice President Al Gore has said, when a single blogger can influence the course of a national conversation.

What does that mean for you? It means that you had better write your truth as well as you can, each and every time you Tweet, post on Facebook, or compose something for your blog. Because you just never know when something you say will change the world.

Blogger Arlee Bird has been exploring the topic of blogs as an essential part of every writer’s platform in a recent series of posts on  Tossing It Out. He had this to say about “making” a blog go viral: “In answer to the question "Did your blog post go viral?", the answer is no.  Nor did I expect my Monday post to go viral.  The content for virality wasn't there [emphasis added].”

I don’t personally think any one of us has the power to “make” a blog go viral. But Arlee has hit on the writer’s main job: provide meaningful content. As I learned with my viral essay about my son with mental illness, which was picked up by The Blue Review and Huffington Post under the title “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother,” one of the most meaningful consequences of sharing our truths, even when our stories are painful, is that we can actually change the world. I mean, I spoke at a TEDx event in San Antonio last week with some of the coolest people I will ever meet in my life! I never could have imagined that kind of platform for my mental health advocacy. But it happened (and yet just days later, so did another tragic school shooting). 

So with this post, I’m officially adding my name to my blog. Yes, I’m THAT mom, the one who shared a story that made some of you wince and many of you cry. I started blogging in 2008. I’m a lazy blogger, posting whenever I feel like it—no content schedules for me. And I write about whatever I want to, from yoga to kids to grammar lessons to thrift store wedding dresses (Little White Dress, a collection of essays and poems I edited, was conceived from that 2011 blog post). 

Arlee interviewed me recently about my viral blog post and its effect on me as a writer. You can read my answers to Arlee’s interview questions about viral blogs here.  The advice I gave both to Arlee and to the would-be viral bloggers at Elaine’s retreat was simple: “Write your truth. Write it well. And accept the consequences.”

It’s that simple. And it's that hard.