Friday, December 14, 2012

Thinking the Unthinkable

Michael holding a butterfly
In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.  

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”

“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.

“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”

You know where we are going,” I replied.

“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.

The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork—“Were there any difficulties with....at what age did your child....were there any problems with...has your child ever experienced...does your child have....”  

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying—that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”

And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. (http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/mass-shootings-map). Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”

I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise—in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population. (http://www.hrw.org/news/2006/09/05/us-number-mentally-ill-prisons-quadrupled)

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill—Rikers Island, the LA County Jail, and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011 (http://www.npr.org/2011/09/04/140167676/nations-jails-struggle-with-mentally-ill-prisoners)

 No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all. 

This story was first published online by the Blue Review. Read more on current events at www.thebluereview.org


3,791 comments:

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fixitsurprise said...

I need you to rethink your position for the sake of your son. My mother labeled me as mentally ill when I started acting out. She took the same approach. "I am a wonderful mother so it must be my child and my child must be mentally ill." I am 41 now. That approach took a large toll on my life and I am still getting through it. It turns out that it was not just me. It was my family dynamic. By the time I turned 13 I was so frustrated with the subtle mind games my parents played (unknowingly, but played all the same) I started to act out. I too was sent away in ambulances to mental hospitals and later to behavior modification school. It turned out that all I needed was to get the hell out of my anxiety ridden, disapproving, everything was always my fault household. I've raised my daughter differently. She's learned emotional regulation, that her needs are important, that she has a voice. My mother was very public about her struggles with me too. I believe she did so to build up her position. The fact that you would post a picture of your son and violate his privacy like that already shows that your priorities are not straight here. I rarely comment on blogs negatively, but this hits too close to home. No child grows up in a vacuum. And I encourage you (and your husband if applicable) to do a lot of work to explore what part you are playing in his behavior and frustration. I encourage you to rethink the mentally ill label you've decided to put on him, and I encourage you to protect his privacy as a mother should. I respect that you want to raise awareness of this issue, but leave your son and his picture out of it. After my experience, I am having a hard time believing he is mentally ill. My mother searched and searched for a diagnosis for me, but that was just to make herself feel better.

Dawn Skies said...

I too have faced similar experiences to yours. And my heart is with you...I cannot imagine how heart-wrenching your step was, but also how relieving, too.

You have courage to speak out. I admire your courage though it probably doesn't mean that much right now. I want you to know I care and have an undesrtanding of what you are going through....and how isolating it can be.

I have tried telling friends; most do not get it. Family members choose to change the subject. Others look at you like you are a bad parent. Others cannot handle hearing it at all.

In any case, with re: my son, now 14, who is doing much better (!) YAY!.I was told to send him to the hospital, or be prepared to send him to hospital or to a boarding school.

I too put away all knives at one point...

And you go on living, and loving your son, while your heart is breaking....this isn't what I had planned...not at all.---but you move on from that thought, because that's one that puts you in victim-mode.

I was told to record him, because people didn't believe that he had this other side. I decided to try hand in hand parenting, a parenting approach similar to nonviolent communication (NVC) ---see handinhandparenting.org...

I'm not saying this is for everyone, but it is working, slowly, for me and my son, healing some of the big hurts.

Last night, for the first time in months, after seeing something that triggered him, he lost it, but the "lost" it was so much less, the acting out was far diminished. And because of all the work that I have done, with hand in hand, and with EFT (I'm an EFT practitioner) and also getting more time to myself, I was able to be present to his hurts, his needs...

.it was an amazing experience to simply witness him process, while setting limits, and it was interesting, because though he was very upset, he followed the limits... i don't know what to say about your son, exactly, but I wanted to share the above... and I also want to say this below:

A brief history, my own family or origin has some extreme dysfunction in it, I married a man who was emotionally abusive and alcoholic, I carried that pattern right into the parenting with my son. I have had to learn how to say no, how to set boundaries, how to be stronger than I ever thought I could be.

And I am grateful that I have learned so much in these 14 years. I know we have a long road ahead, but I believe that we have the resources now to help my son offload whatever big hurts he is carrying -- he does not make the connection between what hurts and his behavior yet...

The more he is able to safely offload his own hurts, even if he does not know where they are coming from, the lesser in intensity they are becoming...I am grateful for our good steps in the right direction...PArents, whether single or couples, do not simply do not get support in this country to raise children... It's not just one thing that caused this boy, the one who killed those children, to break, it's many things, mental illness, lack of support for parents, cultural issues, who knows what... but God please let us begin to make the changes on every single level so that nothing like this can ever happen again... let's at least lay the groundwork...

Many people in my life did not comprehend what it meant to be a 100 percent 24/7 single mom, how could they? they couldn't comprehend that in some cases, my sons behavior was in fact "normal" as he was acting out big hurts from early in his life -- his homebirth was traumatic == he almost died, i was postpartum and bled profusely, then developed fibromyalgia, which I no longer have (YAY!), we had a lot of dislocation in his early years, including me thinking that I could not possibly raise a son alone, especially being sick. He lost his grandpa and a very close loving male friend when he was 5, we moved many times until finally I was able to get us a house and have stability in our home....

I think I've gone on long enough, but again, Soccer Mom, my heart is with you. Kat

toffelnigar said...

My daughter actually heard me for what seemed like the first time.  I also started listening to my daughter through different ears and was able to step into her reality and have an understanding for what she was feeling. So don't make any mistake for your guidance about to Connect With Your Teen Daughter we are in online for 24/7 in a week..........

toffelnigar said...

My daughter said that she loved the retreat because she finally felt heard. Thank you, Debra, you have taught us a different way of relating with each other that will allow us to continue to develop and nurture a stronger relationship.” so being stay with us for the reason of to Connect With Your Teen Daughter.

SR said...

For the mother or other parents that are in this situation, one possibility would be a nutritional approach. Many people suffer from depression and mood swings due to the intake of substances in our food supply. The Paleolithic diet might be of interest. It is spreading in value and credentials. There are segments on YouTube by Paleo Parents that could help to start investigating. Best wishes!

Kimberlie Wehrman said...

:-(

nathanv said...

I read your article until I came to the part about your son pulling a knife on you for wanting to return the library books.
I am of the opinion that your discipline is lacking, and that your child is challenging you and you are not up to the challenge.
I believe in a couple of axioms, that I am sure will be misinterpreted...which is of no consequence to you, because I feel that A. It is too late, and B. you would not make the proper changes anyway, but maybe it will help others.

1. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
2. "It is not the dog...it is the dogs owner".

If your son pulls a knife on you, and all that you can do is look for sympathy on the internet..you have the problem!

Diane Turpen said...

I understand completely what you are going thru. I have a son like this too. I am sorry for your family and for all our families. Child Protective Services has no way of helping us.

Diane Turpen said...

fixitsurprise, My son is a victim of parental alienation which is psychological and emotional abuse. It has caused mental health issues. He is living with the alienator.

Anaj said...

Yes, Liza, there are reasons to be seriously worried as well as reasons to plunge into despair. However there is a course of action that could be helpful.
That day was it so important the colour of the trousers? Was it so inflexible to the point of hurting Michael so deeply driving him to a death wish: to kill or to die?
Jacques Lacan, a French psychoanalyst, in a text dated of 1958 – “The direction of the treatment and the principles of its power” – wrote the following: “Our intention is to show that the impotence to sustain a praxis authentically falls back, as is usually the case in man’s history, on the exercise of power”. This text was addressed to psychoanalysts to provide them with some orientation to their practice. He alerts them that whenever one insists on something impossible, one falls back into a feeling of impotence, and then, as it’s usual among human beings, one will try to resort to force in order to impose whatever one wants.
I’m thinking of Michael’s case. What place is left that would allow another way to deal with the problem, another way to perceive things that are happening, and another way to exist: like Michael’s? For when there is no place for subjectivity, what is left?
In Europe there are a few Centres that work using a method called “la pratique à plusieurs” (an integrated team approach). In these centres children and adolescents are offered the appropriate space and time to find a solution to their difficulties (the solutions are always very particular, each child or adolescent will find his/her own). The environment meets the necessary conditions of a congenial and calm atmosphere where they can develop their vital efforts.
These centres are part of RI3 (Réseau International d’Institutions Infantiles) an international network of institutions dedicated to children and adolescents. Here is a list:
Centres which are members of RI3: L’Antenne 110 in Brussels, Le Courtil de Leers-Nord, Le Centre Thérapeutique et de Recherche de Nonette.
Centres which are associated to RI3: Le Prétexte in Belgium; Pondesac, L’Ile Verte, La Demi-Lune in Bordeaux and L’hôpital de jour in Aubervilliers.
There is also a centre in Venice: L’Antenna 112.
Liza, in case you feel interested, you should contact these institutions for more information. Most naturally an institution with a considerable number of people that are able to speak English would be highly important.

Anaj said...

Yes, Liza, there are reasons to be seriously worried as well as reasons to plunge into despair. However there is a course of action that could be helpful.
That day was it so important the colour of the trousers? Was it so inflexible to the point of hurting Michael so deeply driving him to a death wish: to kill or to die?
Jacques Lacan, a French psychoanalyst, in a text dated of 1958 – “The direction of the treatment and the principles of its power” – wrote the following: “Our intention is to show that the impotence to sustain a praxis authentically falls back, as is usually the case in man’s history, on the exercise of power”. This text was addressed to psychoanalysts to provide them with some orientation to their practice. He alerts them that whenever one insists on something impossible, one falls back into a feeling of impotence, and then, as it’s usual among human beings, one will try to resort to force in order to impose whatever one wants.
I’m thinking of Michael’s case. What place is left that would allow another way to deal with the problem, another way to perceive things that are happening, and another way to exist: like Michael’s? For when there is no place for subjectivity, what is left?
In Europe there are a few Centres that work using a method called “la pratique à plusieurs” (an integrated team approach). In these centres children and adolescents are offered the appropriate space and time to find a solution to their difficulties (the solutions are always very particular, each child or adolescent will find his/her own). The environment meets the necessary conditions of a congenial and calm atmosphere where they can develop their vital efforts.
These centres are part of RI3 (Réseau International d’Institutions Infantiles) an international network of institutions dedicated to children and adolescents. Here is a list:
Centres which are members of RI3: L’Antenne 110 in Brussels, Le Courtil de Leers-Nord, Le Centre Thérapeutique et de Recherche de Nonette.
Centres which are associated to RI3: Le Prétexte in Belgium; Pondesac, L’Ile Verte, La Demi-Lune in Bordeaux and L’hôpital de jour in Aubervilliers.
There is also a centre in Venice: L’Antenna 112.
Liza, in case you feel interested, you should contact these institutions for more information. Most naturally an institution with a considerable number of people that are able to speak English would be highly important.

Apryl Mitchell said...

I fee a little late to the ball here, but I cried when I read this. My son is Autistic and this struck every cord with me. I agree with every single word. It's a shame that in a country so "developed" with so many mentally ill adults and children in it that our healthcare system is poorly equipped to help.

Glynis MacDonald said...

I am deeply moved by your story and I know you are not alone in these experiences. You appear to be a responsible parent who is doing everything you can to help your child. I can also understand your need for help is great.

I have felt for a long time that these bizarre mass shootings are symptoms of mental illness and are poorly addressed by the justice system.

I sincerely believe we need to begin looking at alternative forms of healing. I have witnessed and assisted with remarkable transformations in supposedly impossible cases. An autistic man with lifelong social dysfunctions, who after just two sessions, succeeds in landing himself a job and begins dating. Two things he was never able to do. A year later he is successful in this job and he is still happily dating the young lady.

Quantum-Touch is a non-invasive, gentle and highly effective form of energy healing. This methodology has been used successfully to treat a variety of conditions and mental illness is no exception. I cannot say what affect it will have however I do know it cannot worsen your son's condition.

You can find more information on Quantum-Touch and a listing of practitioners at www.quantumtouch.com

Please take a serious look at this remarkable methodology. It may truly have the ability to prevent future tragedies and provide you with the help you so desperately need.

Wise Old Soul Great-grandma said...

To all the armchair layman clinicians who commented... please take a moment to think before spouting.

I treat many young men of this age (13-17) with similar world views and have found 100% to type out as INF Temperaments. A good source to read about this type's special views and needs is the Please Understand Me book in the children's development sections.

I've been appalled for decades that my grandkids' teachers know NOTHING about the 16 temperament types and are neither teaching to type or able to spot big bright red flags that clinicians see and treat right away. To get these bright kids safely thru the peer-pressure years is a high priority group effort.

They usually feel they don't fit in with the extroverted jock types so begin slinking beneath the surface where their imagination supports then. They often have personalities that prefer Introversion (I), Intuition (E), and Feeling (F). This type relishes fantasy, crafting results they can't do in person, etc. It is automatically a challenge even for the not-so-brilliant child with the same temperament type.

If you cast judgment and try to "tell" this mother what to do... we are all curious about YOU before we can take YOU seriously.

How many INF children do you have and are raising each day? Second, where can we find your psychology Masters or PhD listed... from what Universities... and third... what was the topic of your Thesis or dissertation research projects?

People ALWAYS research and write about topics that deeply interest them and they carry this WELL-EARNED wisdom forth in life, so all can benefit from their new findings and supportive literature reviews on the topic. I'm eager to read your project work in this vaguely-researched population that is now being unduly influenced by outrageous fantasy and violence media that "helps" them feel strong and powerful, even for a magical but deadly moment.

Please post the answers to above questions right here ASAP for all professional clinicians to see. Otherwise, your remote is calling you to change to South Park. It starts in 2 minutes.

1prophetspeaks said...

To WISE OLD SOUL GRANDMA & All:

I invite you to read on my blog and website the following:
Message to Families of Mental Patients (which includes ideas on autism; I believe autistic kids are prophets in training, which all musicians are called to be; all autistic and all kids should be given an instrument preferably a piano or guitar, at a young age (4-6) and a pet which helps them receive and give love and can bring them out of their shell since animals are non-threatening. I conclude this since I used to sub teach and got an autistic kid to speak to me by talking in silly voices and throwing little cotton balls at him - gentle play - he felt comfortable and responded. I am a 56 year old prophet, musician since 4, played like an idiot savant, knowing I was put on earth to do music and it is holy, since childhood, was always verbal, yet shy and very introverted as a kid, though NOW I became more autistic in a way since I have developed in such a way that I am spiritualy very sensitive and have low toleration for interactions, since the unclean demonic spirits on others due to the drugs they use, which are openings for them (includes caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, pot, psych meds etc) and also the effect of their words which can act like curses, causes me to avoid interactions often I suspect autistic kids are doing the same thing for the same reasons, though not consciously) My books explain this:
Message to Families of Mental Patients
BEING AUTHENTIC & Returning Home to our Calling
book:
WHAT KIND OF MUSICIAN ARE YOU GOING TO BE? GOD'S CALL TO MUSICIANS. MUsicians are called to be prophets, intercessors & healers. On lyrics, drugs, mental illness & worship. in 2 parts on my blog http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com
my website has the same articles and more info: at http://www.1prophetspeaks.com

1prophetspeaks said...

My links are:

http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com

Message to Families of Mental Patients
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/07/message-to-families-of-mental-patients.html

WHAT KIND OF MUSICIAN ARE YOU GOING TO BE? GOD'S CALL TO MUSICIANS. MUsicians are called to be prophets, intercessors & healers. on lyrics, drugs, mental illness & worship. parts 1 and 2 on Blogger:
1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/02/what-kind-of-musician-are-you-going-to-be_24.html

website has same articles & free books http://www.1prophetspeaks.com

Goldilocks said...

Is parenting becoming a lost skill in America? Judging from this blog & the comments and from personal experience with my 2 teen male foster children, and my husband's experience as a teacher, there is a great need in this country for parenting skills. You don't need a psychology degree or to medicate your child to be a good parent.
You need to counterbalance the culture of violence, cruelty, fantasy & computers with common sense and strength as a parent, not psychiatry & meds & more video games. "Michael" & kids like him need parenting, starting at birth. Children need to be taught empathy, kindness, and manners from a young age, via parental modeling. Set out clear, strict rules & boundaries & enforce them, every time. You need to take charge when a child tries to boss you. You need to take every violent video game away, forever. And for a kid like Michael, no electronics for a good long time. And then, once he calms down, and knows who the boss is (you, not him) let him have only supervised use after that. My kids use the computer at the dining room table, where I can see. They watch TV only on weekends. Give your kids healthy food, served as meals with the family at regular times. Give them exercise, and take them outside...teach them about animals & nature. You need to be strong. "Michael" has been dangerously spoiled by horrible parenting, but perhaps if his mother gets it together she can salvage this child. Do not put guns in the hands of any child that exhibits any sign whatsoever of mental instability. Give them chores, teach them to behave & to be respectful. Teach them manners. Look at their skills & give them a safe outlet (music, art, science, sports). Please, stop spoiling your children! I went on vacation this past summer with our kids and two other families. Although we were in a beautiful beach location, the children from the other families spent 85% of thier awake time on gadgets/computers. One 16 year old was allowed to stay up in his room using the computer, unsupervised, all day. He hardly came out at all. And these are so-called "normal" parents & teens! The parents were just as bad with the gadgets, using them constantly, sitting at the beach (not swimming or walking or biking or sightseeing), while their fat, pasty-skinned kids did the same, and all of them stuffed their faces with the most disgusting amount of food I have every seen. Plus the children were lazy and rude. An appalling recipe for disaster in my eyes, but completely normal for many people now. How many of you allow the same things? Do your kids do chores? Do you enforce rules? Do you allow unsupervised computer, TV, gadget use? Do you teach manners? Do you have regular, healthy meals & activities? If not, you will be lucky if you don't end up with a "Michael", or a child who is very sick in other ways very soon. It is your responsibility as a parent to do these things. It may seem like too much work, or too old-fashioned, but it needs to be done. If you don't want to, please, don't have children.

Goldilocks said...

BTW, I grew up one town north of Newtown CT. My cousin's little girl went to afternoon kindergarden at Sandy Hook. A woman I used to work for worked there. One of my best friends in high school went to school there. I spent a lot time in Newtown growing up, and have an interest in never, ever, having something like this happen again. Be a parent! Right from the start! You cannot abdicate once you have started down the path!

Toys For Twats said...

Your son's problem, like Adam Lanza, is that he doesn't have a father around to straighten him out. Whenever I had issues like this as a kid, or disrespected my mother, my father would kick my ass.

Your own problem is that you spread your legs for a guy you did not intent to stick with to be a father figure for your child. But that's where "50% of America" is failing.

Dave said...

It is not a mark of wisdom to proclaim one single book on personality types will cure all parenting woes in this country any more than it is to name call and judge people who watch Southpark.

While parenting improvements are obviously needed all over the country, there is still a need to help those who have gotten into situations like this -- which are now beyond 'raising' and more in need of 'fixing'.

Search on "Hope For the Violently Aggressive Child".

Apryl Mitchell said...

I can not believe the amount of people who seem to think that the problem is lack of discipline. This is precisely why mental illness has become such a problem in this country. It's disgusting to read all of the comments that seem to condemn and judge. Do you actively take care of mentally ill child on a daily basis? Furthermore, do you take care of a severely Autistic child on a daily basis? No? You have no idea the struggles we as mothers of these children face on a daily basis.We spend more time with doctors, social workers, psychologist etc than most people do in a lifetime. We spend a lifetime fighting for them to have equality in care and school. How dare you presume to lay judgement? Get a grip people. Mental illness is a serious problem, especially in children. There are not enough resources, there is not enough help, there are not enough schools, and this problem is only going to get worse. Wake up America, mental health care in this country is horrendous and changes need to be made. Thank you Anarchist Soccer Mom for being one of the voices speaking out.

E HL said...

I used to be close to a family that sounds like yours. Until their son hurt my daughter. His parents and I tried to maintain a friendship at first, but it was too difficult after what had happened. I would love for you, them, and anyone else going through this to get valuable and useful help for your situations. It would be kind and humane, but it also would protect everyone involved.

E HL said...

On further reading I'm not sure how comparable the two situations actually are. Regardless, I do wish everyone who needs mental help would get it. I hope your family finds the healing it needs.

Rachael Bower said...

Have you considered the fact that your son might have been sexually abused? And for that matter, all of the parents who have children with these "angry outbursts"? I am sure they are more than terrifying but there is usually something deeper that a parent doesn't want to recognize as the MAIN issue that the child doesn't know how to cope with.

Henry Smith said...

The naivete and simple-mindedness of so many posters here continues to baffle and amaze me. Could any of you who proclaim LL as "brave" or a "hero" please explain where the bravery and heroism is in not only blaming your 13 year old son for all of your own shortcomings (be it as a parent or in general), but also publicizing this for the world to see while refusing to acknowledge your own role in the problems even once? sounds more like a narcissistic liar and coward to me.

Before you reply, please check out my new blog to learn the truth about mental illness and its causes.

eradicatementalillness.blogspot.com

sowkmom78 said...

I was this child and your story brought tears to my eyes. Looking back I realize that I would not be here today without the loving support of the Therapeutic Foster Care system where trained personnel TAUGHT me how to regulate my emotions, learn the signs and what I needed in order to prevent “melt downs.” I’ve worked in the same system with children 13-21 who have been “diagnosed” with a plethora of disorders and trained staff & parents alike on how to assist these children to become productive members of society who CAN manage their own emotions. For those willing to learn evidence based techniques that don’t always have to involve restraints or lock up look for Therapeutic Crisis Intervention for Family Care Providers classes around your area.

ShHaAnEd said...

I read this article today http://www.anchoragepress.com/news/the-gluten-made-her-do-it-how-going-gluten-free/article_39e2478e-4585-11e2-a80c-0019bb2963f4.html? and it made me think about your article. It's long but a dynamic read

Christine Blake said...

Many sociopaths did not have access to intelligence testing in the past. Would knowing they were "brilliant" have made a difference? It seems that because of intelligence we refuse to look at the reality of what we're dealing with here. Is it ok to lock up a murderer of average or below average intelligence, but not ok to lock up a "brilliant" sociopath, because he/she has a high IQ and we've come of with fancy names for rage and willingness to inflict harm on others? Please, consider that it is actually UNKIND and lazy to not contain these people indefinitely if they "can't" control their vicious impulses, no matter how cute or cuddly they are when everything is going their way. To let them hurt or kill others ruins there lives, and the lives of their families. What is better to have on our conscience, that we have a loved one in a locked facility where they are taken care of and visited, or to feel responsible for the crimes or murders they commit? And if you truly believe they couldn't control themselves and need "care", how dare we then not give them the care they need, including life in a secured facility?

city said...

thanks for sharing.

Francis-Olive said...

I can't even imagine. My heart aches for you, and for Michael. As horrible as it sounds for you, I can't even imagine the terror and fear and pain that he must be feeling through all of this. Not knowing why he feels the way he does, or behaves the way he does, thinks the things that he does. He feels helpless. It's like you said, 'this is too big for me to handle,' I'm sure that this is how your son feels too. If it's too big for you, then it must be insurmountable for him. Imaging having to be Michael.

Our nation must take care of it's mentally ill. There is not enough money, time, energy or love put into the mentally ill. We treat them like pariahs, and want to cast them aside. Reading this post made me think about all of the people in prison who have made it there because they are mentally ill. In many ways, our culture is draconian and trapped in the black bible thumping days when you just imprisoned people or killed them if they were not sound of mind. It's a complex situation, and running from it, jailing it, will not solve the issue. There are probably many people who need to be institutionalized, and many more who suffer from mental illness who do not, and we cannot decipher between the two until there is some real funding being put into research in order to help those who can be helped. When that time comes, if that time comes, we will still be left with a handful of people who cannot be helped.

You are not the only one who feels helpless about Michael. We all SHOULD feel that way, because we are, in a sense. This is not your burden, it is our burden. We are a united people. And part of the reason why this happens is because we are not truly a united people. This only becomes evident when the Sandy Hook shooting issues arise, or when you take the time to write your post, and everyone sends their condolences, but then does nothing further. No one is to blame, but it is never too late to revise how we think, and it is never too late to grab issues like this and take them seriously. It is only a matter of time before Sandy Hook becomes covered by the sands of time, and we all 'move on.' Let's not move on. Let's not be hamstrung by our fears. This is a sign that we need to do something, now, all of us, starting everywhere, grassroots, at the top. We are one nation. We are one people, and we must treat those like Michael who suffer as we would treat ourselves should we find ourselves faced with such a thing in our own lives.

What can we do? Who can we talk to? What can we start? Who is on board? And if your answer is no, then why aren't you?

So, what's next? Who do we call? Who can I call? What can I do to help Michael, to help you, to help myself, to help us all.

Sunnie3 said...

I've been following your blog posts and the resumes or solutions range from those trying to be helpful to those blaming single parenthood and bad parenting. But overwhelming it astounds me to those critics who think they know all. Let me tell you all this. Until you live with a child with a mental illness, you cannot prescribe help. Mental illness regardless of whether its clinical depression or any other kind of manifestation is not something any parent is trained or equipped with the skills to handle. you love your child and try to do you best, but often you love and good intentions are not enough. There's plenty of resources out there for getting pregnant and having a baby, but there's nothing when your child doesn't fit the norm. Believe me, I know. My son threatened suicide and then to kill his father. That was his first hospitalization. It took 3.5 years to get him the help he needs. See my son suffered from serious clinical depression and social anxiety disorder. He refused to leave the house. we needed a psychiatric evaluation, but when your son won't leave the house, you can't get one. There's no such thing as mobile psychiatry. To make matters wors, in the state of Pennsylvania a 14 year old can make mental health decisions for themselves. That means they don't have to attend any sort of therapy or any type of program unless they consent. Essentially as a parent, you are stripped of any rights to your child's mental health treatment. Two days before Christmas 2011, I had no other option. I petitioned the court to essentially abdicate my rights to my child. This was the only way to get help. We did get the help we need one year later after being forced to try every mental health service out there. This all could have been avoided if there was such a thing a mobile psychiatrists. I 've been told time and again by different mental health professionals that I was a tee endows advocate for my son. Reality is, the system is not set up to help people or parents who want it. You must pay and play the game. it took us four hospitalizations, a partial hospitalizations, family based and outpatient therapy along with about 8 trips to court to get the help my son needed and deserved. So to all who judge and prescribe, your intentions might be in the right spot. But reality is, the mental health system is not set up to effectively manage true mental illness. It's a horror my family has faced and one I wouldn't wish on my enemy. It's critical that mental health issues are brought to the national level. Judge and blame get us all nowhere. We must mobilize around the fact that there is not support for parents and for those with a mental illness. I implore all of you to think and imagine what my (our) lives may be like. One ounce of empathy will go far in a world that's lonely,dark and often persecuted.

Dave said...

"Hope for the Violently Aggressive Child"

That's the name of a book and also a website in which some doctors present a new approach for dealing with severe meltdowns, aggression and rages.

The new approach is based on adrenaline acting medications, not psychotropic drugs. This means fewer side effects and risks, more affordable, and from the testimonials you can see there it is also more effective.

SR said...

An non-functioning autistic child went to a functional state in a week by following the Paleolithic diet. That is one of countless breakthroughs that have happened when the body ingests nutritional substances instead of ones that react like poison in it. A well fueled body is strong, balanced and healthy. This includes physical and mental since the body is one interconnected system.

Henry Smith said...

From the website madinamerica.com:

Laura DeLano – a child victim and escapee of psychiatry – tells us how she is viewing and experiencing this article and offers a challenge to the mother who wrote the piece “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” in the aftermath of the recent tragedy in Connecticut.


A Challenge to “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” | Mad In America. The biochemical model of the illness stigmatizes, which leads to anger, anxiety, and social isolation.

http://www.madinamerica.com/2012/12/a-challenge-to-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/


Two videos of Laura Delano at Occupy Psychiatry protests:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yj5wfS0WXrQ

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Opu6dzVFqs

My blog once again:

www.eradicatementalillness.blogspot.com

Harry said...

Dear all parents,these people helped my son and us, where no doctors could help us anymore... Our son was acting very similar to Michael.
They were able to help and completely positively changed our lives! Hope this link helps: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vickers_tree/2012/12/23/shamans-papa-wango-and-djally-return

Nucia R said...

I think it is time for every American to read Robert Whitaker's book, An Anatomy of Epidemic and start learning about tremendously negative long-term effects of psychiatric drugs. Please start educating yourself ASAP. Psychiatrists have created epidemic or mental illness in the US, which is iatrogenic in kind. Do they even realize that? If yes, they are criminals who need to be prosecuted for handing out Prosac and Zyprexa to toddlers and young children. Mental illness in this country skyrocketed in early 1990s with the advent of Prosac, which in the long term creates chemical imbalance in the brain and leads to depression, anxiety, rages and other abnormalities. "Soccer mom" and other parents, please begin educating yourself about the long-term effects of the drugs you are giving to your children.

Nucia R said...

I think it is time for every American to read Robert Whitaker's book, An Anatomy of Epidemic and start learning about tremendously negative long-term effects of psychiatric drugs. Please start educating yourself ASAP. Psychiatrists have created epidemic or mental illness in the US, which is iatrogenic in kind. Do they even realize that? If yes, they are criminals who need to be prosecuted for handing out Prosac and Zyprexa to toddlers and young children. Mental illness in this country skyrocketed in early 1990s with the advent of Prosac, which in the long term creates chemical imbalance in the brain and leads to depression, anxiety, rages and other abnormalities. "Soccer mom" and other parents, please begin educating yourself about the long-term effects of the drugs you are giving to your children.

G. Lynn Meadows said...

THANK U & BLESS U! I raised a violent and mentally ill daughter. I had her to a shrink by age 4 due to her violence. We got meds, she threw them out the window; we took her to talk-therapy, she would only say untruths about me. She beat me, threatened to kill me. She burnt down my mothers house and my car (yes, cars DO melt) destroyed my marriage, put mom in the hospital 7 times and tried to murder me twice. Now, I have broken contact with her. Back in the 80s we did not speak of this - it was ALWAYS the mother's fault. I am so glad u spoke up. I STILL live in fear to answer my door.

CVG Cincinnati said...

Thank you for being so brave. This video touched me, much like your piece. It's a story of a brave father who adopted a child with known psychological issues. We can't understand what you must go through on a daily basis unless you, and others like Thom Shuman, speak up.
http://news.cincinnati.com/VideoNetwork/2051848615001/Preventing-the-unspeakable-

Vonnette Cummings said...

Oh how my heart goes out to you. When my 7-year-old daughter started having violent outbursts, showed sighs of depression, and became sullen and out of control, we were at a loss. It really frustrates me to see the comments about you not disciplining your child enough. Punishing an explosive child only creates a more explosive child. So many parents offer well intended advice, but have neither the experience or education to back it up. I have two MA degrees in psychology and I can tell you that is not the answer. Equally disparaging are the comments that hospitals and medications won't help. Maybe it didn't help them, maybe it was the wrong diagnosis, the wrong meds, but your son need help. My daughter was in two hospitals before I put her in Meridell (a great place in Texas that does neuro-psych testig, therapy, behavioral management, while diagnosing your child). She spent 3 months there and it was the hardest 3 months of my life, but it saved her life and my sanity. My family went through Hell dealing with her mental health issues. We finally found out that she had been sexually molested by a foreign exchange student we hosted. If a child is genetically predisposed towards mental illness and they have a traumatic experience, there is no way of predicting how it will look. She was diagnosed and treated for being bipolar, but I am happy to say after years of therapy, she is off meds and doing well. I would recommend you researching Heather Forbes and the work she does with RAD and explosive children. It helped us a great deal to learn effective loving ways to contain her anger. If you need support or guidance, please contact me. Don't let the judgements get to you. People just don't understand. I wish you the best! vonnette@gmail.com

Melanie Swofford said...

Hang in there. I know society doesn't understand. They didn't understand me. My parents didn't know what to do and were and are extremely good parents. I am now 35 and have learned to control my mental illness through medication and behavioral structure. To those who are condemning you I know they don't understand what you are going through. I pray for you and hope that somehow someone is concerned and intelligent enough to find answers. Look at NAMI. (national alliance on mental illness) They do a lot of advocacy and have a lot of resources you might find helpful.

Emmanuela said...

Have you tried changing his diet, focusing on improving his immune system or gut flora?
Drugs are not always the answer.

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Select Your Perspective said...

I hope you realize what a gift you've been given in your child. Imagine, for a moment, if your son were to die tomorrow; would you then be saying to yourself, "well at least I didn't let him go to school wearing the 'wrong' color of pants!" Would you be patting yourself on the back for making sure he had his library books turned in on time? No?

Perhaps it is time to turn attention away from what is 'wrong' with our 'mentally ill' children, and realize what is wrong with us as a society. It's so easy to talk about gun control and mental 'illness', to be sure. But how often do we genuinely appreciate our children and remember, in their innocence, that perhaps they are here to teach US -- not the other way around.

How frustrating must it be for a young teenager, more intelligent than the average human being (let alone his own mother, who brought him into this world) to have to learn how to cope in a society whose priorities are so f*ed up that we are more concerned with following a dress code than allowing individual inquiry and freedom of imagination? Freedom to be ourselves?

In hindsight, it will all make sense. When your son can't take the criticisms and judgments anymore, when he can no longer bear this narrow-minded society, and you become, truly, Adam Lanza's Mother -- it will all make sense. You will come to realize, in your final moments, that the battles you chose to fight in life, with your son, have no more bearing as you die. As we all will die, eventually, think on how you want to live. Think on what's really important. If your son were to die tomorrow, would your primary concern be the color of pants he wears in his casket? Or will you remember how he lived? With joy, intelligence, curiosity, peace, love, laughter, light? Let the other stuff go. Your son seems to be smarter and more sensitive than most, that is obviously true. Instead of trying to force him to fit into any kind of predetermined mold or slap on a socially-constructed label, allow him to be the unique and beautiful individual that he is... that we all are. The vast majority of society may be bought-in to a consumer culture of norms and rules and American 'values' which ensure homogeneity and order, but it is always the creative rogues who have the courage to think outside the lines who make lasting improvements to humankind and culture. Be bold. Be courageous. Be accepting of your role as the NURTURER of this genius you've given birth to. Instead of trying to make him fit in with the rest of the 'free public babysat', encourage him to be different! Who cares about library books being overdue? Buy him the damn books so he can keep them and continue teaching himself!! He obviously knows something about Life that many of us unfortunately are lacking. Allow him to teach us a few things about what is and is not important. If he would rather die a rebel than have his soul smothered by our ridiculous notions of societal structure... well, I'm with him. Frankly, I believe your son is an inspiration, a voice, a lesson, we all need to listen to. And you my dear, YOU, have been BLESSED with the opportunity to love and honor and nurture his growth, to aid and support and encourage and assist him upon his incredible journey. You already have all the tools you need; God in his grace has given them and your son to you as gifts. You need only to learn how to use them. Listen to your son, carefully, quietly, calmly, and he will tell you how.

Amanda said...

Liza,
I'm a reporter working on an in-depth story about what we need to do to improve the failing mental-healthcare system in this country, and have been trying (unsuccessfully) to figure out a way to contact you directly with a couple questions. If you see this comment, could you email me at paulsona@csmonitor.com? Thanks, and sorry to be trying this through a public comment on your blog! - Amanda

carolko said...

Putting a voice to it; writing about it; is sometimes the only thing we can control. I admire your strength and wish you luck.

Love for the beginning that confirms the ending said...

I was with you most of the way thru your story until you said that your son loves "harry potter"...what is there to love about a wiccan story? It is all about witchcraft...you chose it for him. We need to give them the story's about GOD...the LIVING things so they can recognize good from evil. I pray that you can reach him with the LOVE that gives life eternal and freedom from death.

Daniel Smith said...

Re: Travis Mays, December 15, 2012 at 11:16 PM

Sad. You've never seen this or experienced this. That's obvious. I'm a school teacher in North Carolina and I've seen it. A child out of control. They're not logical. They're inconsistent. Rambo one moment and Ghandi the next. It's not natural. Something's wrong with them and they need help. Lay off her. She's not lying about her son's behavior and she's not a bad mother for committing her son.

It was a terrible decision, a horrible choice, but she is at the limit of her ability to care for her son. Do you really think she hasn't agonized over this decision, this growing problem that wasn't getting any better? She's done everything for him. Rearranged her life for him, lost friends, and God knows what other sacrifices to care for him. She's a good mother precisely because she committed her son.

I wonder what you would have done if Michael were your son. You should get on your hands and knees right now thanking God that you don't have to bear this burden. And while you're there pray for mercy since you apparently have no pity for others. Especially those who took the time to share their heart and their pain.

Diana Catherine said...

Thank you for sharing this with us. My prayers are with you. God bless you and your family.

CT said...

Sounds bad but isn't that bad! Diagnosis: ADD and serious Mood Swings. Nothing more. It's simple brain science. The ADD brain is unbalanced with the frontal left lobe underperforming. Thus the remaining 3/4 of the brain must run in overdrive to compensate. This causes inefficient energy usage by the ADD brain and leaves it highly fatigued compared to a normal non-ADD brains. ADD brains being fatigued cause serious deep sleeping also leading to bed wetting. ADD deep sleepers have trouble getting up in the morning as well. This is why consistent sleep schedules and meal schedules are so important for ADD children. Mood swings can be managed by managing sleep and meal schedules and proper caloric intake. Too few calories and not enough sleep and Watch Out!

StrugglingMom2013 said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I have been feeling very alone because I have a young child that also is on medications that don't seem to be helping and at times it is scary to think of what the future may hold for him. I love my son more than anything in the world, but it is a lonely place to be in because some people truly don't understand what you go through on a day to day basis. God bless you, your son and the rest of your family.

Dave said...

"Hope for the Violently Aggressive Child"

That's the name of a book and a website in which some doctors present a new approach for dealing with severe meltdowns, aggression and rages.

The new approach is based on adrenaline acting medications, not psychotropic drugs. This means fewer side effects and risks, more affordable, and from the testimonials you can see there it is also more effective.

Search on that title or Dr Ralph Ankenman for more info.

EllieMae said...

I read this via gawker as soon as it came out and I am using it for a socratic seminar in the high school English class that I teach. I am sad to see how much criticism you have encountered. Please know that I thank God for giving you the wisdom and courage to provoke this discussion and I pray for you and your family daily. That you will know peace and harmony, that you will find compassionate insightful psychological support.

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Vici Van Coller said...

Dear Liza. I am touched by your story and I admire your bravery to share it. I would like to ask if you ever considered taking 'Michael' for Auditory Integration Training (AIT). I truly believe he will benefit greatly from it. More information is available at www.aitinstitute.org, www.georgianainstitute.org and www.filteredsoundtraining.org. I will keep you in my prayers. Vici (Filtered Sound Training Practitioner)

OB1canOB said...

I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through but you are strong and you will get through this. Thank you for sharing such a private, heart wrenching story with the world, you have courage. Peace be with you.

David E. Nilsson, Ph.D. said...

The reality is that we must attack guns, but it is critical to understand that "all men and women are NOT created equal!" We are not doing a very good job of intervening, educating, teaching skills, early recognition/intervention. Diagnoses and labels are often not leading to appropriate treatment. Early intervention with educating parents, teachers, social milieu, providing additional treatment intervention in facilitating ongoing neurodevelopmental progression, specific skills, adaptation/accommodation, etc. Parents coming together will be the voice of reason in accessing appropriate and productive early intervention! David E. Nilsson Ph.D

Pat said...

I really doubt you will be able to read all the posts as this has gone on some time now. I hope you get help from someone sensible. The Dr. who said we must attack guns then left the dribble they all fall back on when they fail is not going to be helpful for you, but he will be for himself. As a society we protect politicians, actors, musicians, etc. with firearms but we think children will be protected by a sign. The AR-15 is used mostly by women and for protection. If your daughter is alone and 3 punks break in to rape her which is more common than a house fire do you want her to just let them rape her? Or allow her to protect herself and have enough ammo in the firearm to take all 3 down. The reason so many want to remove the AR-15 is they do not want to get shot when they break in to your daughters house. The perverts do not want themselves to get shot or their friends so they want to take them away.

LizC97 said...

I read this article in class because my teacher made us read it, and it really caught my attention. I am very truly sorry the things that you have gone through, but I feel it was a very inspiring story. So many people now a days complain about the smallest and unimportant things in life, and you have truly been through a rough path. I feel your story is very inspiring, and thank you for telling us about the harsh circumstances and challenges you have had to go through. I agree that our system should be more informed and aware of mental illness and really think about such a thing just as much as getting laws against gun restrictions.

FriendsforPeace said...

I just found out about this post and realize many of you spoke about being trapped and feeling lost. To all of you feeling that fear, have you heard of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo? It is a meditative Buddhist chant that helps center our mind and bring forth the higher life conditions inherent in all our lives (in commmon words, our good side). With chanting and taking the right actions, we can go through a transformation of behavior and change "poison into medicine." You can find more information here -
www.sgi-usa.org
Also, a program associated to this practice which was launched following the Columbine shooting incident, is a youth-led peace initiative that helps people, adults and children, understand violence and how to tackle the root of violence. What are forms of passive violence that fuels the fire of physical violence? Human reaction and behavior that cannot seem to be solved by drugs or medication may find some answers from this project. It is possible to change rage into compassion -
http://vov.com/

I hope this helps!

Keith Miller said...

I wish you and your family the best.

I am relieved to find several here who also compassionately challenge the temptation to label mental illness. I know MI well as a clinical social worker that has worked with individuals systematized in the mental health system. The charts all read mental illness and most people in the system have no choice but to use the labels. However there are better, more sophisticated ways of understanding extreme emotional states and behaviors.

After I learned more about how the brain responds to trauma I could see through the behavior to appreciate the elegance of crazy. To the part of a person that is being tortured, inside, the amagdalya so chronically overstimulated, "crazy" brings the only relief. The unconscious response to trauma continues to amaze and awe me as my clients teach me how much sense the crazy makes to them. When it is safe enough to not use such extreme ways to communicate, you can see a different person. All I can say is compassion is incredibly powerful.

I recommend reading Richard Schwartz's description of the system he created to successfully treat such traumatized family systems, called Internal Family Systems Therapy. Often the trauma is an extended legacy in the family stretching back to, and caused by distant and extreme pressures that the family faced long ago. Again, compassion and courage to face and start to tell the whole story takes the extreme pressure off of the select few in the family that are "ill." Few inpatient psych floors are trained in this compassionate approach and instead are tortured by their own pressures in the inadequate health care system for mental health. I recommend following former congressman Patrick Kennedy on his twitter especially during this important time that our country is having these conversations.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Cookieforever said...

Thank you. I too have a son who is now 22, and every experience you wrote about brought a memory for me of a similar one that we have experienced with him. I appreciate your bravery in bringing to light a subject that needs closer examination.
No one can truly understand the hell this is unless they have lived through it.
God bless you and your family.
C

Charlotte Jamar said...

Often, dramatic actions can exacerbate the sort of "mental issues" your son seems to have. Instead, you need to build a team with him to overcome his issues. For instance, therapy is very helpful, but you need to introduce the practice in a way that makes him feel mature and confident with himself, not the enemy/ outsider/victim. This child may not be diagnosed with a specific illness, but he may simply develop differently and need more attention in specific areas. He is very sensitive, and it is so important to constantly reassure him that you are on his side. Calling the police on him does the opposite. Maybe he needs a break from his current surroundings.

Charlotte Jamar said...

Often, dramatic actions can exacerbate the sort of "mental issues" your son seems to have. Instead, you need to build a team with him to overcome his issues. For instance, therapy is very helpful, but you need to introduce the practice in a way that makes him feel mature and confident with himself, not the enemy/ outsider/victim. This child may not be diagnosed with a specific illness, but he may simply develop differently and need more attention in specific areas. He is very sensitive, and it is so important to constantly reassure him that you are on his side. Calling the police on him does the opposite. Maybe he needs a break from his current surroundings.

Wilford said...

I second looking into the GAPS diet. I've seen a simple diet change do miracles for children. They need to get the right nutrients in the right places or weird things will happen. It's much more complicated than that, but I think that is the primary reason behind massive behavioral changes. Medications just make the issue worse. Try watching food intake and see what changes. Good luck.

gapsdiet.com

Yossif @ angrynutrition.com

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Harry said...

To all who are looking for help. We made it to our mission to help parents and especially their kids to find their way back. For this reason we bring the 2 Shamans from Mali who helped us to the conscious Lefe Expo in Los Angeles from Feb. 8 to Feb 10. This is not meant as advertise. It is way more reaching those who ate desperately looking for help! My wife and I wouldn't do this, if we weren't experiencing the same and tried all different kind of unsuccessful therapies and healing sessions. God bless

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I was down to the lowest point in my life. I thought my heart would never heal. I found you late one night and thought what have I got to lose? I ordered the Return My Lover Spell and within a 3 days she was back in my life thanks to you Dr. Lee of the Ancientfathersandmothers@gmail.com

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There is no link between violence and autism. Many cases of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Autism Spectrum) and personality disorders are misdiagnosed. What you should know is PDD lack social cues and are not malicious. Autistic kids have trouble reading faces and understanding if what they are saying is appropriate or not, or knowing when someone is offended by what they said. Autistic kids are more likely to be violent towards themselves than they are towards others for frustration of their condition and the world around them. The have remorse and feel emotions just like you and I.

What you said is maddening. I live with an Autistic brother. Yes he scares me and yes I know the feelings you are describing, however he also has other personality issues and isn't just Autistic. Not to mention it isn't his fault he is the way he is. Parenting can go a long way and there are ways to get help.

I feel worse for your son than I do for you. You don't need help, your son needs help. Posting his story in order to gain sympathy is disgusting because you're taking away from his troubles.

Have you ever thought about "What is going on in my son's head? What is he dealing with on a daily basis?" Being autistic is very hard, and maybe you should try to understand what it is like before acting like a victim yourself. He's a kid, you're an adult, act like one and be a parent.

Maybe something happened to him at school. Instantly blaming his "shortcomings" on his mental illness is deplorable and you, lady, should be down right ashamed of yourself.

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Your post is starting to show up all over facebook. Thank you for the poignant insight into raising Michael. You don't know how many people you will touch and cause to rethink this issue. Thank you.

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Have you tried Michael on anti-convulsant therapy? His violence sounds like a response to situation stress that he sees no other way of reducing at the moment - a low tolerance for frustration. Treat his anger by helping him to lower his stress threshold. Avoid direct opposition that heightens frustration. Encourage him to tell you when his feelings of frustration are increasing. They are analogous to the aura that persons with epilepsy feel preceding a seizure. Teach him to recognize his thoughts and feelings preceding an uncontrolled outburst. Then, try to work out strategies that he and you can take to downshift his emotional state. Anticonvulsant therapy may help, since it can alter his threshold for seizure-like episodes. Imperturbable, genuinely empathetic kindness is the most effective behavioral antidote. I hope you find this helpful.
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thirst4music said...

There is hope. I wish I could tell you how. I have my own Michael, who shared many of the same behaviors and diagnoses as yours. When he was 11, we got a call from a terrified babysitter who reported that he was trying to stab his sister with scissors. At 12, he burned our uninsured rental house down on purpose in what he said was a suicide attempt. Shortly after, he threatened to kill his mother and me in our sleep. After 7 emergency psychiatric hospitalizations and a "boot camp," he was caught breaking into a home near his school while he was skipping classes, and experienced his first of two stays in juvenile detention. After our divorce, his mother kicked him out and he came to live with me. I had problems with his behavior, he couldn't hold a job, and we got into a fist fight. I gave him a 60-day written notice that he needed to start paying rent or move out, and I had to kick him out with nowhere to go. He lived on the streets for several weeks, and then spent several years couch surfing at the home of friends. He has had three stays in jail (that I know of). Today things are different. He began, slowly, to change after the birth of his first child 7 years ago. By the time his second child was born almost 5 years later, he was a new man. I don't know why, other than that he began to take his role as a parent seriously. He is a wonderful father, has many good friends who would give their lives for him, and we have a good relationship. I am more proud of him than I can express. Now he is waiting for life-saving kidney transplant surgery to be scheduled. The donor? The sister that he tried to kill 15 years ago. I wish I could tell you how and why things changed, but all I can do is offer hope that sometimes they do. Thank you for sharing your story.

cherylsass123 said...

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cherylsass123 said...

I should add, that Newtown's Meanness, to those who do not fit in the popular crowd, has shaped my life even to this day. I am not thrilled with NMSU nor even Las Cruces, NM or America as a whole. America in general lacks the help not just for mental health, but housing and everything else. Colleges today seem to operate on similar principles as secondary schools in general; one must be able to perform as part of a collective group in classes as preparation for future employment. Back then, Batman was not violent, really; we had Ms. PacMan and Centipede but not Grand Theft Auto 6 and RapeLay,other wickedly violent virtual games. We also didn't have an audience which existed for NCIS, CSI, and even the local news crime shows. Gun violence seems to have become glorified, while 'drugs' have become bad- excluding the psychopharmicuticals forced down the throats by mental health professionals upon every child, and even psychologically-challenged adult. We have basically become a society of corporate, and future corporate, human robots; at least here in America. Finally, and probably of most importance,how come they probably have just as many people with psychological issues in the United Kingdom, New Zealand, and even Canada; yet very few of them shooting innocent people? IS THEIR SOME CORRELATION BETWEEN EASY ACCESS TO FIREARMS AND VIOLENCE? Wayne La Pierre of the NRA? Please Answer this.

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i would like to suggest that you take your son to see a neurologist who specializes in seizure disorders. your son sounds liikehe may be having what are called focal seizures. these are not what are typically thought of as a seizure where a person falls to the ground and tosses about. these are seizures that affect limited areas of the brain. i saw your son describe his problem and he stated that after the event that he gets tired, this is most likely a post ictal state. give it a try. you have nothing to lose and you may find that instead of having a psychiatric issue, he has a neurologic issue. good luck.

DR. S said...

i would like to suggest that you take your son to see a neurologist who specializes in seizure disorders. your son sounds liikehe may be having what are called focal seizures. these are not what are typically thought of as a seizure where a person falls to the ground and tosses about. these are seizures that affect limited areas of the brain. i saw your son describe his problem and he stated that after the event that he gets tired, this is most likely a post ictal state. give it a try. you have nothing to lose and you may find that instead of having a psychiatric issue, he has a neurologic issue. good luck.

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I hope you're proud of the increase in stigma toward the "mentally ill" that you have caused. Only 5% of violent crimes are caused by those diagnosed with mental health issues.
PBS is guilty of capitalizing on this tragedy (as well) by having your ill informed position as part of their program.
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My Name is Emil.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to Us the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to agumaguspelltemple@gmail. com I cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck:agumaguspelltemple@gmail. com.Once Again His Email Address Is: agumaguspelltemple@gmail. com

vicky mark said...



My Name is Emil.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to Us the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to agumaguspelltemple@gmail. com I cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck:agumaguspelltemple@gmail. com.Once Again His Email Address Is: agumaguspelltemple@gmail. com








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Harry said...

Here a great link I found which is about helping such kids (and their parents); http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vickers_tree/2012/12/23/shamans-papa-wango-and-djally-return

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Lou said...

I am 38 years old, and I am living proof this doesn't have to end poorly, and that violent children can grow older, calmer and lead a normal life, In the past I have had violent episodes which included fights that ended up having the police called, and knifes drawn, I was kicked out of school for fighting on many occasions, and while my brushes with the law were limited from 16-24 there were quite a number of them... I thank both the incredible strength and work my mom went through to keep me alive, and with it... I wasn't diagnosed with anything until age 24, ADHD... but I had violent uncontrollable episodes, my mother used to pin me down and say things like "I won't lose you this way" I never really fit in with other children, I never really got along with anyone, I still don't for the most part, but I am a functional member of society, I work in the computer industry, and I multiple awards in it... I think the thing that worked the most was my mother while she was afraid, would stand up to me, she was relentless and persistent, and never gave up... I think the best strategy she used was to include me, talk to me about my feelings, never let me go, tell me she loved me, even when I know she didn't know what to do... When I was in high school and would sneak out or stay out late she would wait for me on the stairs to talk to me, she wouldn't get angry, she would say "I can't stop you now, your too big, I have to let you learn on your own, but I will always be hear if you need someone to talk to, I will always love you, and I will always be there for you" and she meant it, I was annoyed mostly, I resented her intrusion into my life, ( and sometimes still do ) encouraging me to be a better person, but eventually I started talking to her... Her faith that I was a good person was sometimes all I had... Had it not been for all the late nights on the stairs talking about all the things that had gone wrong, and my mom's reassurance that things would get better, I might have lost out to my darker side and might not be here today...

I don't think there is anything wrong with my brain, I think in some ways I am hyper aware of how people act and what those actions mean, sometimes I get it wrong and think they meant something worse then they did, and sometimes they just didn't mean for me to pick up on their snide comments... But people did love to pick on me, and all I ever wanted to do was fit in, and I think the key thing that my mom did was teach me to fit in... Later in life I met a woman who taught me its ok if I don't fit in, its ok to not fit in, and being different was special, I ended up marrying her.. We have two NORMAL children, and I have never been better... I still struggle with my need for recognition/acceptance, I still have that darker part of me, but its alot less pronounced now, and I use it to drive me with an almost unstoppable desire and energy to learn everything I can and I haven't slowed down yet...

I am an expert in my industry, I can fix cars, play guitar, build a boat, I can do anything I put my mind to (and that interests me), I was awarded a commendation by Secretary of the Navy, have had a number of other awards, my life has been exceptional, but it did start off very violent...

There is hope, be firm, provide love, help him through when people pick on him assure him that he is not alone, find out what he is thinking, and it might help, it did for me, and now I am going to call my mom to tell her again how grateful I am she didn't give up on me. Good luck and best wishes.

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Cloud Nine Design said...

Thank you for writing this. I pray that you get the help you need for your son, so that he does not hurt himself or others. I wanted to let you know too, that you are NOT Adam Lanza’s mother - or like any of the others. You are being proactive and trying to get help for your son, even if it means hospitalization. Adam Lanza's mother actually took her critically disturbed son and put a gun in his hand to teach him the "joys" of shooting at a gun range. You, on the other hand, turned the car around and drove straight to the hospital. I think of all the parents who either do nothing - staring at their children's problems like a deer in the headlights until they (and others) are run over by the car - or do too little, because of fear or inconvenience, like Jared Loughner’s mother. Thank God that you are one of the mother's who actually care enough to keep trying to get help in a very real way.

ch25 said...

Sending you thanks and support. It must be so difficult. Maybe you've helped the country turn a corner here.

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YK said...

I read this when it first got published on gawker and sent this to my parents right away because of how relevant it was to our situation. I come back to this now and want to ask for some advice, comfort, anything...because we have tried all options and are clueless on what to do next.

Hello, I'm a college student, 19 going on 20, and I have a younger sister who is 12 that goes through almost the same tantrums and fights every night with my parents, particularly my mother. It's nothing surprising when I say that my mom is a "tiger mom" -- immensely strict and stern and all that -- but that has only resulted in her getting scars and bruises all over her neck, arms, etc. I'd be lying if I said that I hated that sort of "loveless treatment" back when I was my sister's age, but it was thanks to my mom's hard hand that I have become who I am and I am greatly thankful for what she has done; unfortunately, my sister only sees it as hate and revenge.
My sister has no sense of hierarchy, shame, or remorse -- whatever she says goes, or else. Like your son, she is argumentative to a fault, and if she gets angry enough, she will start breaking things, pushing my mother around as if to start a fight, and threaten to kill my mother, myself (when I get involved), and/or herself if she doesn't get what she wants. This happens all while screaming, insulting, and making arguments that don't make any sense. If we get her to calm down, however, she lets us know that she isn't completely clueless to the fact that she has a problem, but she denied so much beforehand that I've stopped believing her pleas and "I will change"'s.
A lot of the issue emerges from her not being able to do what is expected of her -- finishing her homework, studying for tests, practicing, even washing up before going to bed -- but when we tell her once to do something, she tends to ignore us because she is too mesmerized with her smartphone, but we tell her more than once she will yell at us for "nagging" and will say that she won't do it since we nagged her, and then the fight will develop from there. As a result her grades have been slipping, even though we know that she is fully capable of acing her classes if she tried, which gives my mother more to stress out about.

That's the general idea of my family's situation, but there is a lot more to be said...but I would just like to know, what do you suggest is the best way to handle such a matter? At the rate my sister is going, she is bound to get worse in high school, and because I go to a college that is states away from home I can't defend my mother forever...and that truly scares me. We have been seeing a counselor, and I have tried to talk some sense into her, providing my own experiences and such, but nothing has been working and it's just plummeting me into insanity.
I would greatly appreciate it if you could give us some insight on what we could do.

Please write me back at krimmsonn @ gmail.com, we really need some help.

1prophetspeaks said...

see articles, free books at
http://wwww.1prophetspeaks.com
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com

Autistic kids are prophets in training
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/02/autistic-kids-are-prophets-in-training.html

Every family has a resident prophet
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/05/every-family-has-resident-prophet.html
(They are the kids and the teens with blue hair - the misfits and individualists) Whoever is closest to 7 gets to be Head Resident Prophet - a rotating position. Kids have spiritual discernment, and know who to trust or not, and their prayers have authority with God. If you need help ask a 7 year old to pray for you.

SCHIZOPHRENIA is NOT a 'serious mental disorder"
(it is a nonsense label by atheist psychiatry which falsely calls Christians & anyone with spiritual beliefs and experiences mentally ill)
http://wwww.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/01/schizophrenia-is-not-serious-mental.html

Message to families of Mental patients
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/07/message-to-families-of-mental-patients.html
DO NOT send anyone to a psych ward. The drugs are deadly BY DESIGN & they cause mental illness, suicide & Homicide. Take them to a Pentecostal church.

See free book
Manual for Transformational Healing-God's Answer to Psychiatry
which exposes atheist psychiatry & their drugs which are deadly by design, & tells how to heal mental and physical illness thru prayer and worship.
contents:
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/02/manual-for-transformationa-healing_8853.html

1prophetspeaks said...

see articles, free books at
http://wwww.1prophetspeaks.com
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com

Autistic kids are prophets in training
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/02/autistic-kids-are-prophets-in-training.html

Every family has a resident prophet
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/05/every-family-has-resident-prophet.html
(They are the kids and the teens with blue hair - the misfits and individualists) Whoever is closest to 7 gets to be Head Resident Prophet - a rotating position. Kids have spiritual discernment, and know who to trust or not, and their prayers have authority with God. If you need help ask a 7 year old to pray for you.

SCHIZOPHRENIA is NOT a 'serious mental disorder"
(it is a nonsense label by atheist psychiatry which falsely calls Christians & anyone with spiritual beliefs and experiences mentally ill)
http://wwww.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/01/schizophrenia-is-not-serious-mental.html

Message to families of Mental patients
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/07/message-to-families-of-mental-patients.html
DO NOT send anyone to a psych ward. The drugs are deadly BY DESIGN & they cause mental illness, suicide & Homicide. Take them to a Pentecostal church.

See free book
Manual for Transformational Healing-God's Answer to Psychiatry
which exposes atheist psychiatry & their drugs which are deadly by design, & tells how to heal mental and physical illness thru prayer and worship.
contents:
http://www.1prophetspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/02/manual-for-transformationa-healing_8853.html

Anonymous said...


I was having a boyfriend. We were known for long time and we promised we will be together for ever. Both of us are married and not satisfied with the present spouse. But because of some misunderstanding I quarreled with him and humiliated him in front of his friends. After that I realized my mistake and apologized with him. He told me he will try to forget everything. After that we met again he promised me everything happened because of misunderstanding and now we will be together for ever.But after some while, we never met each other. no proper communication from him for 1 month. But for me he is my everything. He is the only one who gave such a good satisfaction in my life. I wanted him. I wanted us to meet, to have sex, to love each other again. He is very good.and l know He was made for me. But some hindrance keep keeping us apart. i tried to get close to him but nothing was working out until one day i heard about a spell caster called dr.marnish@ymail. com, i decide to try his love spell and definitely it worked out perfectly for me, it never took time for the spell to start working, after some few days my lover came to me and wanted us to start our relationship again, our lover is so tight now that nothing can brings us apart, this love spell is wonderful
Karen donnasha

Carissa Layton said...

I want to say thanks to Dr Ishvara for bring back my lover to me , my husband said he want to divorce me for him to get marry to another woman after will have be together for 6 years few days for us to go and divorce, i say some body testify of what a spell caster have done for her so i desired to give a try it was 7 days to go and divorce and when i contacted him , he said that he can get him back for me the third day my husband stop the divorce and now will are together for good .if you in any type of problem in your relationship contact him via email: ishvaratemple@yahoo.com

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Domina Dunn said...

I want to encourage you that you son's behavior may improve with age. My youngest son exhibited exactly the same behavior from age 12 on. I thought I would die-literally. We finally kicked him out of the house when his behavior endangered others. We KNEW that he could not help his behavior, and it broke my heart to do it, but he was out of control. He went from one treatment facility to another as long as we had insurance. We spent our life savings on treatment. Sometimes he was homeless. But we stuck to our belief that we could not sacrifice our safety. It would help neither him nor us. Eight years later, he had been beat up by life, broken my heart often, and learned some hard lessons. At 33, He returned home a broken man and better able to remain calm in the face of the frustrations of daily life. (Talk about inflexible!!) He lives with us now, and it isn't a perfect situation, but he is now willing to take meds and understands that when I remind him to stay calm, I am just coaching him for his own good. He is doing better than ever. He still cannot tolerate the interaction required for any job, but he has scrubbed, sanded, repainted, stained, caulked, or replaced almost every inch of this house. I brag on him constantly and he loves it. The doctor told me, "Quantity over quality." In other words, brag on these folks early and often over any little thing. My heart goes out to you, but don't give up hope.

unkno1 said...

Oh my greatness, I must say this to the world. I'm Daniella living in the US, I'm a patient of Uterine Fibroid tumor, i have seek for drugs, gone for many checkup, i hardly even sleep at night. I have been suffering from this ill health for about 9-11yrs now. I have taken drugs to suppress and all other medications but it still there.
Just couple of weeks ago i was surfing the internet and i saw someone talking about how Dr. Lamp cure her from breast Cancer which almost took her life with his UGBESIN BT1 medicine with some few spiritual work. It amze me so much that i had to contact Dr. Lamp through his email on herbalcuremedicine@live.com for his spiritual Herbal medicine to cure Uterine Fibroid tumor.
All he told me was that i should abide to conditions and in just 7days, i should go for checkup to be sure i am cured.
This sounds so heartwarming and so how funny but i gave it a bold step.
He asked me to send my picture so he can pray in his temple as he work his medicine. He gave me his OTOPY DV HERBAL, Certified by the FDA and UNICEF, generally accepted worldwide. he asked me to take it for 7days and also asked me to abide to conditions as the OTOPY DV HERBAL would was my stomach without pains.
My dear can you believe that after seven days i went to the hospital to know how check my self because i was now feeling light, the doctor was shocked to asked me what i took. He did several scanning and nothing was there anymore i was totally cured and healed. this Dr. Lamp herbal medicine surprised me.. he is currently helping my friend out who has not been able to conceive after 13yrs of marriage. All my friends and relatives wants to meet him for vote of thanks.
Dr. Lamp said he has different drugs for different illness and he is still currently inventing a new one that can cure any form of sickness concerning blood cancer.
Please meet this man if you are ill because health is wealth. Dont go waste your money on hospital bills just as i did for about 11yrs without results. his email again is herbalcuremedicine@live.com.

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deborah said...



i am giving this testimony cos l am happy

My name is mrs. Santana Valdez from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in June 19th 2013 this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. Atakpo.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address atakpotemble@yahoo.com

Great Atakpo i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. Email Him Through his email address... atakpotemble@yahoo.com

please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay..

What a powerful man such as Dr Atakpo.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. atakpotemble@yahoo.com


vicky mark said...




My Name is Mrs Angela I was married to my husband for 10 years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until last 2012 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave him the job. since that day, when i called him, he don’t longer pick up my calls and nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. but the only thing he was ask to do was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell, and that was what she did. And she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, i was so surprise when he said that if i have the faith that i will get my husband back in the nest three [3] days, and off which it was really so. but i was so shock that i did not pay any thing to Dr odia but my husband was on his knells begging me and the children for forgiveness. This testimony is just the price i have to pay. This man DR Odia is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address is odialovespelltemple@gmail.com

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Carissa Layton said...

I really want to thank Dr Ishvara for saving my marriage. My husband really treat me bad and left the home for almost 1 month i was sick because of this,i was not my self again, then i told my friend about my husband case then she told me to contact Dr Ishvara that he will help me bring back my husband he told me what i need to do spiritually to bring back my husband. They cast a spell of return back of love on him. And he came back home for forgiveness and today we are happy again, i want you all who are having relationship, ex and even husband problem, and also getting back your wife to contact ishvaratemple@yahoo.com Wish you all success.

Jen-Jen said...

I found this blog searching for a friend's blog. I am sorry you are having trouble with your son. Have you read Dr. Laura Markham's post about Adam Lanza? It might be helpful for you:
http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/Preventing_Violence_from_Teens_and_Young_Adults/

Megan said...


I lost my 15 years relationship during December. My husband left me with so many pains and since then i have been heart broken and shattered. I have contact 7spell casters and 7 of them has rip me off my money without no result. I have Emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster untill i was directed by a 20 years old boy to wiseindividualspell@gmail.com: wiseindividualspell@gmail.com At first i never believed him because he was requesting for some amount of money to buy items to cast the spell, it took him 4 weeks to convince me and something occur to my mind and i said let me give him a trial. I was very shocked when Nichasin called four days after i sent Dr.Zack Balo the items money. He apologies for all he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today now because he proposed to marry me. I will advise you contact wiseindividualspell@gmail.com because he has done wonders in my life and i believe he can help you out in any problem.

lizzy james said...

i want to share my testimony on how i gain my nature hair back in just three weeks: i had very thick curly hair.i straightened my hair 2 yr ago.they after some time started 2 fall out.i also having dandruff problem all d time, before i used shampoo called antidruf containing ketoconazole and tugain 2%(minoxidil) have stopped using chemical one year ago.but still i am loosing a lots of hair everyday and my hair has become so thin. when a friend of my visit me and i explain how i lose my hair every day, she told me she was having the same problem 3 months ago and he contacted DR OPINGO online, i please with grace and she gave me DR OPINGO email, i email him immediately and explain about my hair to him, he told me not to worry that he is going to help me out.After DR OPINGO have prepared the spell cream i use for good three weeks my hair grow fast and was very thick, all my girl friends love and cherish my hair thank you DR you can contact his email at: (alterofcandletemple02@gmail.com) his cream will make your hair grow faster and thicker.




harp1305 said...

My therapist gave me a copy of your story. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I have a 12 year old son who is in his 4th facility in the last 18 months. There is nothing set up to help people facing this kind of family crisis....so we are thrown into the department of children services and are treated like criminals. I had started my own blog several months ago "A hell like no other" I was just trying to get some of this nightmare out of my head and find others struggling like me. I have not posted in a long time but I know I need to. And in looking through the other posts I know there is a community out there of people living this same impossible situation and I would love to make some connections. Thank you so much.

Md. Abu Zafor Fagun Ahmad said...

Thank you this is a nice article. Do you know there many people feel mentally illness on the last age. For them assisted living is must. And assisted living for mentally ill is the only way of removing their illness. So please write something on it.

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Arlee Bird said...

I have recently posted a piece on my blog about blogs going viral since the topic captured my imagination. Do you have any thoughts on the matter? How has the response to your post changed you? When will you be release the book I Am Michael's Mom?

see my post at: <a href="http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/2013/10/do-you-feel-respected-as-blogger.html>Tossing It Out</a>

Thanks
Lee

Arlee Bird said...

Sorry, left out a quotation mark that didn't validate the link:

Tossing It Out

Anita said...

I'm here via Lee/Arlee Bird at Tossing It Out.

Your essay is powerful and sad. I pray that mental illness can be effectively treated (without side effects) in the very near future.

I don't know much about it, but maybe there are good treatments already available; which in that case, the bureaucracy needs to be lessened so that you, Michael, and others can get the help you need.

Blessings. Big ones.

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Anonymous said...
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Tara said...

Wow, thank you so much for sharing. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Have you ever thought about seeing an alternative health practitioner, like a naturopath? As a practitioner myself, I've seen a lot of nutritional supplements and diet changes evolving mental illness with magnificent results. Looks like aromatic amino acids are in deficiency (5HTP, N Acetyl Cystiene, Melatonin, etc). Big hugs to you, you are such a strong, patient, and loving woman.

Tushar Kumar said...

Ironic because I am publishing this comment when another shooting incident has happened.

Tushar Kumar said...

Ironic because I am publishing this comment when another shooting incident has happened.

nancy Alfred said...

HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this esangopriest@gmail.com indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is esangopriest@gmail.com

nancy Alfred said...

HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this esangopriest@gmail.com indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is esangopriest@gmail.com

nancy Alfred said...

HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this esangopriest@gmail.com indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is esangopriest@gmail.com

blin heens said...

Hi, I am speechless for the help I had from You Therapist Oniha of the winexbackspell@gmail.com Everything has changed for good....no... for Great...I would never realize that I got back my Best and only LOVE after all the bad things I did and said to her... Well, I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AS I HAVE PROMISE TO SHEAR YOUR GOODNESS ROUND THE BLOG UNTIL DEATH TAKE ME,I AM INDEED HAPPY FOR ALL YOUR HELP AND PATIENCE... I will keep on shearing your goodness as long as i am happy !!! Thanks a lot for your help Therapist Oniha OF THE winexbackspell@gmail.com FOR I AM SO GRATEFUL.

Vahid Firoozyar said...

I invite everyone who really wants to understand this issue to google Byron Katie and just listen what this woman found out. It is the holy grail.
Everyone who would believe the thoughts of a killer would kill, you don't have a choice. You are on autopilot.
There is only one way out, question what you believe. And Byron Katie found a perfect way to do that.
Millions of people do it and it changes your life so fast, it's unbelievable!
I quote her site:
The Work of Byron Katie is a way of
identifying and questioning the thoughts
that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world. Experience the happiness of undoing
those thoughts through The Work, and
allow your mind to return to its true, awakened, peaceful, creative nature.

Vahid Firoozyar said...

I invite everyone who really wants to understand this issue to google Byron Katie and just listen what this woman found out. It is the holy grail.
Everyone who would believe the thoughts of a killer would kill, you don't have a choice. You are on autopilot.
There is only one way out, question what you believe. And Byron Katie found a perfect way to do that.
Millions of people do it and it changes your life so fast, it's unbelievable!
I quote her site:
The Work of Byron Katie is a way of
identifying and questioning the thoughts
that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world. Experience the happiness of undoing
those thoughts through The Work, and
allow your mind to return to its true, awakened, peaceful, creative nature.

Ann Jerry said...

Great Content.I have appreciate with getting lot of good and reliable information with your post.......
Thanks for sharing such kind of nice and wonderful collection......again, beautiful :) I love reading your posts. They make me happy . . I know something information, to know you can click here
Health & Medicine center

Ann Jerry said...


Great Content.I have appreciate with getting lot of good and reliable information with your post.......
Thanks for sharing such kind of nice and wonderful collection......again, beautiful :) I love reading your posts. They make me happy . . I know something information, to know you can click here
Health & Medicine center

jaCKSON said...

Mental illness is some thing I that wish never to experience again in my life till I die and if if I see any one of the same problem I will do all that I can to help, because it some thing you do not wish for.i was down for for 2 years that was what I was told by my love ones who never stop looking for a cure to my problem. They said they came across a great doctor name DR Alaska who told them to relax that all was going to be okay with me after the test and treatment it only took me 7 days for me me normal again. That is why I have took some time out today to say thank you. i know you will not hear me but the world is hearing me and I know they will help me thank you.if you need his help here is his contacts dralaskajohn@gmail.com or call him +2348169591194

jaCKSON said...

Mental illness is some thing I that wish never to experience again in my life till I die and if if I see any one of the same problem I will do all that I can to help, because it some thing you do not wish for.i was down for for 2 years that was what I was told by my love ones who never stop looking for a cure to my problem. They said they came across a great doctor name DR Alaska who told them to relax that all was going to be okay with me after the test and treatment it only took me 7 days for me me normal again. That is why I have took some time out today to say thank you. i know you will not hear me but the world is hearing me and I know they will help me thank you.if you need his help here is his contacts dralaskajohn@gmail.com or call him +2348169591194

jaCKSON said...

Mental illness is some thing I that wish never to experience again in my life till I die and if if I see any one of the same problem I will do all that I can to help, because it some thing you do not wish for.i was down for for 2 years that was what I was told by my love ones who never stop looking for a cure to my problem. They said they came across a great doctor name DR Alaska who told them to relax that all was going to be okay with me after the test and treatment it only took me 7 days for me me normal again. That is why I have took some time out today to say thank you. i know you will not hear me but the world is hearing me and I know they will help me thank you.if you need his help here is his contacts dralaskajohn@gmail.com or call him +2348169591194

jaCKSON said...

Mental illness is some thing I that wish never to experience again in my life till I die and if if I see any one of the same problem I will do all that I can to help, because it some thing you do not wish for.i was down for for 2 years that was what I was told by my love ones who never stop looking for a cure to my problem. They said they came across a great doctor name DR Alaska who told them to relax that all was going to be okay with me after the test and treatment it only took me 7 days for me me normal again. That is why I have took some time out today to say thank you. i know you will not hear me but the world is hearing me and I know they will help me thank you.if you need his help here is his contacts dralaskajohn@gmail.com or call him +2348169591194

jaCKSON said...

Mental illness is some thing I that wish never to experience again in my life till I die and if if I see any one of the same problem I will do all that I can to help, because it some thing you do not wish for.i was down for for 2 years that was what I was told by my love ones who never stop looking for a cure to my problem. They said they came across a great doctor name DR Alaska who told them to relax that all was going to be okay with me after the test and treatment it only took me 7 days for me me normal again. That is why I have took some time out today to say thank you. i know you will not hear me but the world is hearing me and I know they will help me thank you.if you need his help here is his contacts dralaskajohn@gmail.com or call him +2348169591194

jaCKSON said...

Mental illness is some thing I that wish never to experience again in my life till I die and if if I see any one of the same problem I will do all that I can to help, because it some thing you do not wish for.i was down for for 2 years that was what I was told by my love ones who never stop looking for a cure to my problem. They said they came across a great doctor name DR Alaska who told them to relax that all was going to be okay with me after the test and treatment it only took me 7 days for me me normal again. That is why I have took some time out today to say thank you. i know you will not hear me but the world is hearing me and I know they will help me thank you.if you need his help here is his contacts dralaskajohn@gmail.com or call him +2348169591194

clif prine said...

YOU ARE A WARRIOR!!!!Please keep posting and please keep doing all that you do to both make your son safe and keep The Powers That Be looking into what can be done. I too had a son that kept me awake many, many nights. Too many visits from the sheriff over incidents with knives and terrified neighbor children. He's 30 now and making me a proud father and many years of shame and terror.

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